Been out on the town? Had a romantic meal for two? Single and can't face two hours of love and heartbreak songs? Well, we don't want you donning your pjs and singing along to All By Myself so we'll whizz through all of the X Factor mush for you in just sixty seconds...
Really tonight's X Factor should have arrived with a nice big red bow and perhaps a box of chocolates as the acts took on love and heartbreak tracks... but the judging panel was having a bit of a lovers' tiff.
Nicole Scherzinger annoyed just about everyone – particularly Sharon Osbourne after she criticised Sam Bailey's performance of Make You Feel My Love. Then Louis Walsh went around pretending he'd come up with the nickname 'Screwbo' for Sam and Mrs O looked like she was battling between her eagerness to thump him and keeping to the family nature of the show.
There was drama among Gary Barlow's groups as girl band Miss Dynamix were forced to pull out of the show after pregnant SeSe was taken to hospital. Show bosses confirm it was just a “precaution” and the band will still be eligible to perform next week.
Their absence didn't upset the flash vote (Ahhh... oh gawd, it's catching on) and Kingsland Road has been sent straight through to tomorrow night's sing-off.
Of course Nicole chatted about balls, put an SH on the front of every word, invented some new thing called face goosebumps (!) and host Dermot O'Leary wound up Louis Walsh.
It's like you were there, right?