4. When there are people with you and you have to ask what they'd like to watch.
5. When you doze off and wake up to the squawking aviary of Jeremy Kyle
6. When you lose the remote. We found the DVD remote that had been lost for six months in handbag. Why did I feel the need to take it with me? And why don't I clean out my handbag more often?
7. When you're on the road, in a hotel watching telly and someone rings and you have to find a polite way of saying, I CAN'T PAUSE IT.
8. When your recordy box brings up the message "The two shows you're trying to record CLASH" and you panic and delete both.
10. When you're watching The Big Reunion, your partner comes home and you justify watching the rest by saying "I need to find out about Spike's ankle".
11. When continuity announcers insist on making jokes.
12. When one of your favourite characters dies in THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE OF DOWNTON ABBEY.
13. When people talk. This had better be an emergency.
14. When you fall asleep on the sofa and wake up and think it's the same programme. I dozed during The Peter Kay Thing a million years ago, woke up during the following programme and said, @He's amazing, I can't even see which characters he's playing."
15. When you flick around the channels and accidentally see your own face. I appreciate this doesn't happen to everyone but it's like walking in a room that shouldn't have a mirror and seeing a mirror. Or finding an unexpected twin.
16. When no one tells me that Modern Family has started again.
17. When I get caught out having recorded 127 episodes of Frasier. Especially when some of the episodes have been recorded twice.
18. When you miss a show so plan to watch it on the +1 channel then FORGET!
19. When you've paused a programme for ages (dishes need doing, dinner hasn't pinged yet, cats are mewing for attention) and you accidentally lean on any button and the whole lot disappears.
20. When live sport throws programmes out of whack. Loads of people do live telly. Alex Jones and Matt Baker never over-run. Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby never need extra time. Sports people - be more professional!
The Sarah Millican Television Programme is on Tuesday BBC2 at 9.30pm. Sarah's stand-up DVD, Thoroughly Modern Millionaire Live, is available at radiotimes.com/dvdshop