Last week's episode of Downton Abbey saw the 'Who should look after baby George's fortune?' question swiftly answered when a secret will Matthew had written turned up out of the blue. Handy, that.
The handwritten note named Mary as the sole heir to his portion of the estate. Bad news for the baby – and Lord G, who thinks little women should stay in the home drinking tea and stuff. Violet, of course, was of a different opinion and contrived for Branson (sorry, Tom) to sneakily show Mary the workings of the estate.
Meanwhile, in London, Edith flirted outrageously with Gregson while Lady Rose (pretending to be a commoner called Rose Smith) ran off to a tea dance in York with Anna. Things got a bit heated when some local farmhands got in a punch up, but it all turned out well in the end. She even got a cheeky kiss out of it.
In other news, Carson made it up with his old chum Grieg (he was off to reprise his career treading the boards), Thomas and Edna began to conspire against Anna (we know, how dare they...) and Bates showed his softer side by pulling off an elaborate plan to give struggling Mosley some dosh.
But what's going to happen next week? We've put on our thinking caps and made some spurious suggestions...
Heavens above! There's been a mishap in the Downton Abbey kitchens... Have the ovens given up again? Perhaps the quiche won't set? Maybe someone's actually managed to accidentally sprinkle posion on the chicken?
But no. It looks like Mrs Patmore has been injured – impaled by a prong from Daisy's newfangled electric whisk, most likely.
And there must be a party going on upstairs, judging by that heavily laden table...
"What a very handy turn of events," muses Molesley. With Mrs Patmore unable to cook and a dinner wot needs to be, perhaps it's his turn to step into the spotlight.
Even with Bates's poorly concealed charitable donation last week, Molesley is still in need of a job. And it just so happens that the bumbling butler knows how to beat eggs and make a béchamel sauce (probably). It's time to put on his onion-chopping gloves (he has very sensitive hands, you know) and get to work.
The show must go on, as they say. You know what we mean, don't you Carson...?
Oh dear, is the honeymoon period well and truly over? Is all Gregson's talk of lederhosen and currywurst getting on your nerves, Edith? Either that or her refusal to spend the night in his London bachelor pad is getting on his.
If only she could find a man who a) liked her more than Mary b) wasn't really old and c) didn't have a wife in an asylum. Keep kissing those frogs, Edith.
Nobody likes a lurker, Lord Gillingham. The Downton newbie is hovering around Lady Mary's shoulder like a commuter with personal space issues trying to read the paper over someone's shoulder. No wonder she's refusing to turn around.
Perhaps he's feeling a little shy. Mary's obviously lovely to look at, and we're sure news of her recent windfall has spread among Britain's eligible batchelors, but of the two men she's taken to her bed, neither have lasted long. Half of the Downton estate or not, you'd be wise to consider your options before making a move on Mary...
Now we know Lord Gillingham's valet Green (that one who looks like Dennis from EastEnders) is set to be a bit of a nasty piece of work. No redeeming characteristics whatsoever, is what we've heard on the grapevine. But he's only been in the Abbey a few hours. Has he really already succeeded in turning the kitchens into a casino? Just look how morally-upstanding, law-abiding Anna is grabbing desperately at playing cards.
Also, does anyone recognise the woman in the top-left corner? We certainly don't. Suspicious...
Cora's crying, Robert's looking perplexed, Branson's bored and Violet is taken aback. What on earth is going on? Has Edith got up on stage to announce her plans to live in sin as Gregson's frau? Perhaps Isobel is giving one of her speeches on the importance of helping those less fortunate than yourself.
Or... Carson has grown tired of hiding his theatrical past and is putting on a show for his employers. A little tune, a spot of tap dancing. You know the drill.
Downton Abbey continues on Sundays at 9pm on ITV