Tonight’s X Factor felt like a lesson in being young, hip and cool. Hardly anyone in the crowd, or indeed on the stage, was over the age of twenty.
Sat in, again, watching the X Factor, I felt about as cool as one of Louis Walsh’s turtle necks.
Here’s what I learnt...
* Wearing white sport socks pulled up to your knees is cool. For boys. According to ”Sweet but street” boy band Rough Copy anyway. They even convinced Gary Barlow he should buy a pair. OK, perhaps not cool then. Practical? Yes, perhaps Gary was thinking about his winter wardrobe.
* It’s hip, yes hip, to cover a butter-wouldn't-melt song from One Direction. Who’da thunk it?
* The same goes for a sound track from teen vampire hit Twilight. Yes, Nicholas McDonald’s cover of Christina Perri’s Breaking Dawn track A Thousand Years earned him a standing ovation and four ‘yesses’.
* It’s old fashioned to sing a song from 1989. Yes, Stephanie Woods singing Cyndi Lauper’s version of I Drove All Night almost saw her leave the competition for not being modern enough. Ouch.
* On a similar note, mashing up a Michael Jackson song makes you look all groovy and ‘retro’. Lydia Lucy was singing MJ’s The Way You Make Me Feel from 1987.
* Shirts are buttoned up to the top, but not tucked in. I can hear my granddad tutting from here.
* Hash tag is becoming a regular phrase in everyday speech. “Hash tag boss,” said Nicole Scherzinger. It’s like ‘totes’ a good thing. Good grief.
I best be looking into that pension plan tomorrow...
The X Factor continues next Saturday and Sunday, 8:00pm, ITV