You know how you should never judge a book by its cover? Well, prepare to be surprised!
Remember how popular Lisa Riley was last year? Strictly would be silly not to try and emulate that. And Vanessa Feltz is the perfect candidate.
Plus, even if heel changes and chasses evade her, ol’ Vanessa is nothing if not enthusiastic. She throws herself headfirst (not literally on this occasion, we hope) into everything she does. Embarrassment? Inhibitions? If her recent performance on Let's Dance for Comic Relief is anything to go by then Vanessa left them by the wayside years ago. Plus her turn as Tina Turner also shows us that she’s not afraid of skimpy costumes or flying in on wires, which are, of course, Strictly crowd-pleasers.
A hairy biker might not seem like the most obvious choice for this year’s competition. The bearded chap seems to spend most of his time straddling a chugging petrol-guzzler or shoveling pie into his mouth – hardly the makings of a quickstep success, now, is it…?
But that’s where you’re wrong – oh so wrong. Myers and his co-chef Si King have recently shed the pounds. Six stone’s worth of them to be precise. And now that Dave is all svelte and light on his feet, he’ll revel in learning to cha-cha-cha to perfection with his hair swaying in the wind behind him. You just mark my words.
Plus, he has his very own secret weapon... Here’s a strange fact – Myers used to be a professional make-up artist, so he’ll feel pretty comfortable around all that glitter and glitz, unlike the rest of the boys...
Susanna is already the reason plenty of men get out of bed in the morning, apparently. Would she risk loosing her sex appeal because of an uncoordinated samba and a clunky Viennese Waltz? Would she heck…
The BBC breakfast presenter – RadioTimes.com readers' favourite, it's worth noting – is surely quietly confident in her ability to sashay across the dance floor with style and aplomb.
My guess? She'll be coy at first, perhaps a little reserved, but it'll all be a ruse while she sharpens her tango-heels. Reid will be all over the top of that sparkly scoreboard within weeks.
People say music is a lot like maths (I'm sure they do. I wouldn't make this stuff up...) So Countdown's very own numerical genius Rachel Riley already has an advantage.
Rhythm is all about counting. And who knows how far this clever Oxford graduate can count? Really far, I bet. Probably up to numbers the rest of us don’t even know exist. And remembering all the steps? Just like doing an equation. Forwards minus backwards plus a hip wiggle equals a perfect score.
And as if you needed any more convincing, Riley's a hard worker. None of this means anything if you don’t put the effort in. Remember Jerry Hall?
Ashley Taylor Dawson
It may be a dancing competition, but when it comes to who goes home the public really do have the power. It's easy to see who the men will be voting for (duh – Abbey Clancy) but who is going to persuade the ladies to put fingertip to phone? Hunky Hollyoaks star Ashley, that's who.
Ashley, who plays reformed bad boy Darren Osbourne in the Channel 4 soap, might just have a few tricks up his sleeve. He used to be in pop band allSTARS*, and it was as cheesy as it sounds. They even had their own children's TV show. Do you remember STARStreet? (Nope, just me then.)
All those catchy pop tunes and perfectly synchronised dance moves must still be in there somewhere. All it'll take is a few turns under the glitter ball to re-ignite the muscle memory...
Strictly Come Dancing returns this Saturday at 6:50pm on BBC1