Breaking Bad is the baldest show ever. From Hank to Jesse, Gus to Mike, the Salamanca cousins to baby Holly, almost the entire cast is follicly-challenged or close-cropped. Skyler White, with her flowing blonde locks, owns 97% of the hair in the state of New Mexico. The show’s wrap party must look like a 1980s football riot.
Walter White originally shaved his head to disguise the hair loss from chemotherapy. Coupled with a badass fedora, the new-do transformed him into the notorious Heisenberg.
If you want to follow in Walt’s footsteps (without cooking meth), the experts at Pankhurst will shave and buff your head until it shines like the sands of ABQ. They’ll also trim your goatee to the exacting standards Walt uses in his lab. The full ‘Heisenberg Special’ will set you back £50 for the shave and £25 for the beard trim.
Of course, you could always do it yourself. Here are our top tips for Breaking Bald:
- Consider asking a friend/guilt-ridden lab partner to help you.
- If you can’t afford a fumigation tent to catch the hair/methylene, cover the floor in newspaper.
- The right equipment is important. Don’t use a 10p razor borrowed from your Nan. Invest in quality clippers.
- Trim to around ¼ of an inch, working from front to back, neck to crown. Use your fingers to feel for missed bits. Be meticulous. Leave no trace.
- Apply a gentle aftershave balm. In-grown hairs and acne can happen all over your head, and will make you look worse than Gus post-bell ringing.
- Step out a new man, awake for the first time.
Just remember: staying on top requires constant vigilance/regular shaving. Also, as Mike says: no half measures. Don’t shave a landing strip into your quiff then chicken out. Otherwise you might need to borrow Walt’s hat.