The horse meat "scandal" has entered its second furlong and is really getting into its stride with the news that Findus "beef" lasagnes have been found to contain 99% equine protein. Cue more horse meat Twitter jokes, now with added Findus, Shergar and lasagne.
They're under starter's orders... and they're off!
Graeme Garden @GraemeGarden1
What's the fuss? For years we've been told that Ready Meals contain too much Salt and Shergar. #findus
Alan Machnik @Alan_Machnik
Coca-Cola are pleased to announce that no horse DNA has ever been found in any of its products. Especially Shergar-Free Diet Coke.
You can guarantee that if Heston's lasagne had horsemeat in it, the middle-classes would be w***ing themselves blind over it.
Lauren Laverne @laurenlaverne
@AlanCarr Findus some horse meat? (Tesco have run out)...#Needswork
Danny Baker @prodnose
BBC: When asked how many years Findus have been adding horse meat to their products their MD struck the ground 6 times with his front hoof.
Put my Findus Lasagne into microwave. I took it out after 3 minutes & it still wasn't finished. I said, "I've backed you before haven't I?"
Chris Addison @mrchrisaddison
BREAKING: #Findus fish fingers test positive for 60% seahorse.
Dunno why people are complaining about this horsemeat story. A horse is basically just a really fit cow.
Martin Lewis @MartinSLewis
I don't get why everyone is so upset about the horse meat thing. I mean seriously, why the long faces?
Richard III walks into a gay wedding eating a horsemeat lasagne. Twitter explodes.
Seven Seas Worldwide @7SeasWorldwide
Very proud to say this morning that our beef lasagne does not contain horsemeat. Or beef. Or sheets of lasagne. We're a shipping company.
Get your original horse burger jokes here