1. Carrie On Spying
The "everyone listens to Carrie and Brody at it" scene in last week's Homeland was already the funniest in the show's history, what with the expression on Saul's face, and the subsequent dialogue being littered with hilarious innuendo about "premature" operations and Brody being "our entry point" into the terror organisation. This extended cut, however, is even better.
Zach Braff and Natalie Portman are surely the ickiest additions here - amid some, er, stiff competition.
2. Higher lactation
The best thing about student life, of course, isn't the cheap beer, free sex or opportunity to dedicate oneself to the pure joy of learning: it's the spare time. Never in your working life (let's leave aside the crippling anxiety and misery of being unemployed) will you have so many acres of free diary space, stretching out like a lovely white desert, waiting to be filled with absolutely anything. The test is what you do with it.
Enter the bored students of Newcastle University and their fine invention, milking. Like previous dignity-shedding crazes before it – planking, owling, Batmanning, interning, Clegging etc – it's caught on immediately but in this case, the original video is great. In particular, the guy emptying two litres of semi-skimmed over his own head within two feet of a Newcastle pub doorman deserves an award of some kind.
3. Wuppertal! There they go
A boys' choir from Wuppertal, near Düsseldorf, sings Mad World by Tears for Fears. Hang on, where's that kid on the end off to? Keep watching…
Best charity appeal video ever? Nearly a million hits can't lie…
4. Going down – into hell!
This Brazilian hidden-camera prank show is lucky not to have had a fatality on its hands here. If you're not already claustrophobic in lifts, prepare for a new fear: the lights all going out…
Just to put your mind at rest: the guy at the end was chased all the way to the airport and has now emigrated.
5. Joey Le Punk
Joey Barton, former QPR captain and the world's most aggressive Smiths fan, likes to stay in the headlines, but finds that difficult now he's on loan at Marseille. This week, he fixed that by following Shteve McClaren's weirdly accented example.
Apparently this is not as silly as it looks, and is caused by a recognised linguistic phenomenon where people surrounded by speakers of another language cannot help – ah who cares, we're too busy laughing. Barton himself dealt with the continent-wide mirth superbly, greeting his Twitter followers the next day by simply saying: "Good moaning."