Best performance so far: Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen
What they should be singing: Borderline by Madonna
Why: Union J are by far the most difficult to pick for, because they barely have any identity at the moment. They need to be much more fun and – why not? – a bit camper. A bit of Rylan style. Lose the clothing-catalogue stares and the leather jackets, get some colour on and do some early Madonna. Any 80s single will do, but Borderline's the best one so let's go with that.
1) Need You Now by Lady Antebellum
Massacred by Carolynne Poole at judges' houses, but this ought to be a big X Factor song.
2) Long After Tonight Is All Over by Jimmy Radcliffe
If the Nionj insist on sticking with ballads, at least do a great one: this Northern Soul end-of-the-night classic would get their girl fans all warm and gooey and ready to ring a premium-rate phone line repeatedly.
3) Undercover of the Night by The Rolling Stones
Look, we're trying anything now but: the Stones are everywhere at the moment and we can see Union J having a crack at something from the hand-clapping, peacocking-around-the-stage disco era. It's po-faced but silly, which would suit the boys. George could pretend to play guitar. Actually, we're coming round to this. Lads! You've got nothing to lose!
With thanks to Talia, Simon and Siobhan