I am not deluded about my dancing ability. I’m not a natural dancer – Brendan’s told me as much. Some people know instinctively where to place their feet, how to shift their weight from one foot to the other, what to do with their hands… I tie myself in knots.
Not only does it not come naturally to me, but my brain also needs time to process what I’m doing. On the dance floor, that’s not a luxury I have, especially when it comes to the Latin dances. It means I can’t think ahead, so I either forget the next step or have to pause, making every dance I do look forced. Ballroom dancing is not as easy as the pros make it look – or maybe I’m just stupid!
I’m surprised that I have lasted more than a couple of weeks, to be honest with you. I don’t think I will last much longer, especially when I look at the likes of Louis and Denise. I don’t know how much more I can actually improve. In short, it would take a miracle for me to pick up that glitterball trophy, so I’m starting to look forward to what I’m going to do once Strictly is all over for me.
I want to play sports like tennis and golf, which I really enjoy, but never had time to do. I want to spend time with my family and friends, whom I have neglected for too long. And I want to go on holiday. More specifically, I really want to go skiing with my family. I used to go before I made the GB team full time, from which point it wouldn’t have been very responsible of me to put myself at risk. It was totally off limits for years, so I can’t wait to get my skis on now that I’m freeeeeee.
I also felt a pang and realised that I haven’t ridden a bike in weeks. I didn’t think I would, but I’ve really missed it. At home I have a proper girl’s bike with a pretty basket, which I have to ride very slowly because it isn’t built for speed. There are such lovely cycle routes around my home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, that I was looking forward to retiring so that I could cycle around there just for the joy of it, without a goal to beat every time I sat in the saddle. I have always enjoyed going out on my own, but I like going out with my fiancé Scott most of all. He can keep up with me… as long as there aren’t any hills.
At the moment I barely have time to myself, but I met Brendan’s wife, Zoe, the other day and she has the most gorgeous baby bump. It made me coo so much. It is hard to imagine having a baby when I’m so busy, but when things quieten down a bit, who knows? I think I might be getting a bit broody.