1. MEAT LOAF (Mitt Romney) Who really cares who’s in the White House come next January? If this astonishing video is anything to go by, we know someone who does: Mr Meat Loaf. He cares a lot.
Even Mitt Romney, previously thought to be a man who was absent without leave when God was handing out the ability to be embarrassed, looks slightly uncomfortable here as Loaf screams America the Beautiful. Romney would do anything to get elected, but he won’t join in with this bizarre performance.
2. LENA DUNHAM (Barack Obama) The super-cool creator of HBO comedy Girls caused ripples, and several hundred thousand hits on YouTube, within hours of her Obama endorsement going up online. Dunham addressed first-time voters, encouraging them to give their electoral cherry to the sitting Potus.
“Your first time shouldn’t be with just anybody,” Dunham told young female voters. “It should be a guy who cares whether you get health insurance and specifically whether you get birth control. You want to do it with a guy who brought the troops out of Iraq.” A few extreme-right commentators in the US tried to interpret this literally as Obama offering to squire the electorate.
3. JENNA JAMESON (Mitt Romney) Bored of political spin and double-talk? The US porn industry doesn’t go in for all that. Award-winning actress Jenna Jameson cut to the chase in August. “I’m very looking forward to a Republican being back in office,” Jameson said, addressing reporters from the VIP room at a San Francisco strip club. Why? “When you’re rich, you want a Republican in office.”
4. JOSS WHEDON (Barack Obama) The Avengers Assemble has made a video supporting Mitt Romney! Really? No, not really. But it does have zombies. More on this one here.
5. CLINT EASTWOOD (Mitt Romney) This has gone down in electoral and entertainment folklore: at the Republican convention in Tampa, Clint Eastwood took to the stage for an extraordinary 11-minute performance.
Clint interviews an empty chair, pretending Barack Obama is sitting on it – a rare foray for the Million Dollar Baby director into improvised comedy. Eastwood has now contributed to a much straighter Romney advertisement.
6. MADONNA (Barack Obama) Obama’s campaign suffered a blow this weekend when Madonna endorsed it during a gig in New Orleans. There were more boos than cheers as Madge told fans that she didn’t care who they voted for, as long as it was Obama.
Possibly gig-goers were wary of Madonna’s political statements, following her previous on-stage backing of Obama in September, when she ironically but confusingly referred to him as a “black Muslim”. Or perhaps the boos weren’t just for the politics, but for the four minutes of senseless rambling when she could have been doing Borderline.
7. KELSEY GRAMMER (Mitt Romney) The Frasier star is a long-term Republican supporter, but seems to be struggling to drum up much enthusiasm this time round. “Romney… I mean he’ll probably do a pretty good job,” the actor said when Romney was on the verge of selection as the GOP candidate. Mocked by chat show host Jimmy Kimmel for his lack of enthusiasm, Grammer said: “I felt the same way about Obama four years ago. I felt well, yeah, whoever.”
Grammer did say, however, that he loves being one of the few conservatives in Hollywood. “I’ve never been a big government guy. That’s just the way I am. I’ve always been a rebel in my own life. Tell me to think a certain way, I’m bound to go in the other direction. For me, there’s only one choice in Hollywood: be a Republican.”
8. HARVEY WEINSTEIN (Barack Obama) The heavyweight film producer, who famously inspired Peter Capaldi’s portrayal of top TV ballbreaker Malcolm Tucker, has stirred up all sorts of anger by co-producing a TV movie about the mission to capture and kill Osama Bin Laden. The National Geographic channel will air Seal Team Six: The Raid on Osama Bin Laden to its 85 million households this Sunday, two days before Americans go to the polls.
Republicans claimed Weinstein had recut the movie, which mixes interviews, archive and reconstructions, to give Obama a much bigger role. This has been denied but one thing’s for sure: all the attention will have reminded a few swing-state voters that Obama and Osama are not in fact the same person.
9. KID ROCK (Mitt Romney) Romney totally rocks! He’s got Meat, and he’s got Kid. Rockin’. “I am very proud to say that we elected our first black president. I’m sorry he didn’t do a better job,” Kid Rock told a Romney rally in Michigan. “I really wish he would have, I do. But, the facts are the facts, and we just saw them come to light in the last debate. With no outside BS, no biased media involved, no interruptions, and negative political ads every five seconds, and most importantly no damn teleprompters. Yeah, I enjoyed it so much I think I might throw a kegger for the Ryan-Biden debate.”
10. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN (Barack Obama) But wait! Obama hit back this weekend by rolling out The Boss at a Democrat activists’ rally. “Idealism takes a pretty hard kick … during the election cycle,” Broooooooooce told supporters in Oakland. “But it’s at the seed of why we are here today… You have to believe the world is open to change, open to petition, open to argument.” Attendees arrived at the gig to find an envelope on their seats containing the phone numbers of eight local people who might benefit from a rallying call. The activists were encouraged to ring up there and then, turning the gig into a gigantic call centre. Worst support act ever.