Meet Spencer Matthews – city slicker, serial dater and poised at the centre of the long and winding Made in Chelsea relationship web. His infamous flirting and persistent use of the word “hun” are known throughout Chelsea (and now the nation) so any guide to Sloaney heartbreaking must begin at his door…
First there was Funda – the leggy model come dancer who’d snagged the heart of the Chelsea lothario and kept him under lock and key in their shared abode. But then his long-time crush Caggie Dunlop swanned back into Chelsea and everything changed. Spence was smitten, and there was nothing Funda could do to change what he, the cast, and everyone but Caggie believed was fated.
But all was not rosy following Funda’s unfair dismissal as Miss Dunlop continued to give poor Spencer the cold shoulder. Her decision to jet back to New York resulted in her smitten kitten making a mad dash to the airport to prevent her from leaving, but alas he was too late and the series ended with Spencer’s long face and puppy dog eyes contemplating her loss.
His next project became on-off ex-girlfriend Louise Thompson – an established member of the Chelsea set who was introduced to viewers at the start of series two. Their strictly casual relationship was a tale of two stories as smug Spence hopped from bar to party chatting up the female members of the Sloaney crowd, while Louise tried to maintain her “friends with benefits” cool. Sadly the return of Caggster put paid to any burgeoning feelings between the pair as Spencer’s wandering eye prompted Louise to end their “understanding”.
But before anyone got excited about a possible union, along swaggered Oliver Proudlock (he of dangling earring and retro t-shirt fame) – an Eton schoolfriend of Matthews’ and one-time sweetheart of Caggie. A glimpse of her stolen kiss with hunky Proudlock soon soured Spencer’s cocky grin and it seemed that all was lost when Caggs stepped out with hunky Parisian Thomas.
Fear not, there was a light at the end of Spencer’s tunnel. A romantic trip to wintery Iceland and he finally caught Caggie’s eye – the long-awaited union was finally on the cards… or so we thought. A Christmas holiday in Australia with old friend Proudlock soon swayed Caggie’s resolve and she returned to England (and a lovelorn Spencer) with a new man on her arm to finally put an end to their on-off romance.
Which leads us back to lovely Louise… In a miraculous U-turn, Spence pinned his affections on his former girlfriend. But there was a catch – she had begun dating his best pal Jamie Laing (excitable man-child and heir to the McVities family fortune). Would she be swayed by Spencer’s renewed affections? Sadly for poor Jamie the answer was yes and she fell for Mr Matthews’ renewed charms, ditching her rather sweet dalliance with Mr Laing and facing the backlash of his many fans.
But heartbroken Jamie is no virtuous soul, having enjoyed his fair share of action on the Chelsea dating scene. He first tried it on with ice queen Rosie Fortescue but she – quite literally – slammed the door in his face. Next up was a one night stand with Chelsea drama queen Gabriella Ellis (more on her later…) In series three he also tried his luck with butter-wouldn’t-melt new girl Kimberley Garner – who was bought dinner by just about every single bachelor living with a five mile radius of Chelsea during her first few episodes.
Glamorous Kimberley eventually settled on fellow newbie and “multiple business owner” Richard Dinan after being wooed on a series of luxurious dates (boys, take note – girls like helicopters). But Richard’s “friends” Cheska Hull and Binky Felstead took a disliking to smiley Kimbers and the burgeoning relationship soon crumbled with her leaving the show after just one series.
Since then, Richard has worked his moves on the delectably-named Ianthe Rose Cochrane-Stack and his new girlfriend is joining the Made in Chelsea cast for series four. But cast your eye back to a time when Richard was single and you’ll find he also hooked up with Gabriella, who admitted to a series of late-night encounters with the shaggy-haired entrepreneur.
But Gaby’s heart will always belong to Union Jack suit-wearing club promoter Ollie Locke. Their torrid relationship was often the subject of series one, with Ol’s decision to break off the romance to explore his attraction to men sending Gabs into a vociferous spin – sacrificing her dignity for some cringe worthy scenes with her increasingly alarmed ex.
Ollie’s grand plans were soon interrupted by another girl, Chloe – the stylish daughter of Topshop owner Philip Green and heiress to The Arcadia Group: cue some violent clashes with angry Gabs who felt betrayed by her former boyfriend. The aspiring songwriter appeared to be publicly crumbling when she cast an Ollie lookalike in her music video, prompting a confrontation with Chloe who claimed she was damaging her new relationship. The constant bickering eventually took its toll, and Chlo ditched Ol (much to the delight of Gabs…)
Now, any fan of Made in Chelsea (or reader of the British press) is sure to have heard of Millie Macintosh – the perfectly coiffed, stylishly dressed make-up artist and aspiring beauty journalist who steps out with Hackney-born rapper Professor Green. But before she found the ying to her yang, she embarked upon a turbulent relationship with chiselled Chelsea man candy Hugo Taylor (Spencer’s best friend). But there was a catch – Hugo had always had a thing for Millie’s best friend Rosie (the practised door-slammer).
When their relationship hit the skids it soon came out that Rosie and Hugo had an illicit hook-up while on holiday in Monaco – when he was still with Millie… After hearing the news in the nick of time for a dramatic series two finale party, Millie took to the stage to toast her ex and ‘former’ best friend for betraying her – before spitting “you’re disgusting” to Rosie on her way out.
But fast-forward to series three and Hugo had a new girl on his arm in the form of leggy blonde Natalie Joel. Having taken it upon himself to rebuild their friendship, Hugo eventually succeeded in reconciling the pair and following his and Natalie’s departure at the end of series three, the former bosom buddies appear to have patched up their misunderstanding.
And last, but by no means least, we have Francis Boulle – the goofy polo-playing heir to a diamond fortune and founder of Francis Boulle Enterprises. On paper he should have girls falling at his feet, but sadly his multiple crushes never come to fruition. After attempting to work his moves on Caggie, Kimberley, jewellery designer Amber Atherton and his intern, Agne, Mr Boulle remains perennially single – although perhaps love could be just around the corner when the new series begins on E4 tonight…