Friday, 31st August 2012 at 3:34 pm
At approximately 14:30 hours today a series of extra-terrestrial transmissions infiltrated social media site Twitter. Their exact origin remains unknown but they bear the hallmark of ruthless alien race the Daleks.
The broadcasts began with a characteristic assertion of superiority, followed by a far more unusual plea for help: “THE DALEKS ARE THE MASTERS OF TWITTER. SAVE THE DALEKS!
Further messages revealed that the Daleks were monitoring Twitter and included demands that followers watch a certain television show on Saturday night and that they retweet the Daleks’ posts.
The transmission concluded with a promise that the Daleks would return to take over the Twitterverse. Normal service was then resumed. Read the full transcript below:
“DALEK TECHNOLOGY HAS BEEN LAUNCHED INTO THE INTERNET. IMPLEMENTING VISUAL CONTACT WITH TWITTERVERSE… VISUAL CONTACT ESTABLISHED… NOW!
“WE CAN SEE YOU.
“YOU ARE ACQUIRED!
“THE DALEKS CAN SEE YOU. YOU WILL HIT RETWEET! OBEY! OBEY THE DALEKS! YOU WILL HIT RETWEET!
“THE DALEKS CAN STILL SEE YOU. YOU HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED!
“RECORDS INDICATE YOU ARE AN ASSOCIATE OF THE DOCTOR. YOU WILL SET YOUR TIME-SPACE VISUALISERS FOR TO-MORROW, 19.20 HOURS B-B-C-ONE! OBEY!
“THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING. WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT WE WILL EMERGE AND TAKE OUR RIGHTFUL PLACE AS THE SUPREME POWER OF THE TWITTERVERSE!
“THE DALEKS ARE THE MASTER RACE! THE DALEKS WILL RETURN TO SKARO!
“THE DALEKS WILL RETURN ON SATURDAY!”