I will never forget the moment on 6 July 2005 that London was awarded the 2012 Olympics. I was in a taxi, on my way to catch a train from Brighton station. The driver had his radio on, and I asked him to turn it up, even though I wasn’t particularly interested.
Like everyone, I was wearily braced for the inevitable, which was that the man was going to say “Paris”. Once it was official that the 2012 Games would be in Paris, we’d all say, “Well, that’s a shame, but we did our best, and on the plus side, think of all the lovely money we’ll save.”
And then, just as the taxi started to speed downhill, the man on the radio said, “London!” and I felt a great wave of euphoria. It was honestly one of the biggest emotional surprises of my life - that London being awarded the Olympics would make me so excited and happy. At the station I took it upon myself to spread the joyful word. “We’ve got the Olympics,” I told people in the ticket queue. “We’ve got the Olympics,” I told the man in the booking office. “We’ve got the Olympics,” I informed the automatic barrier.
All of which, I must say, makes it all the more bizarre that, seven years later, with the Olympics starting, I find that I can’t work up any enthusiasm for them whatsoever. Are you aware of this tragic lack of enthusiasm in yourself or others? Do you worry that this makes you essentially a joyless, cynical, even bitter person? Do you worry it makes you French? Is it possible, as the countdown to the Opening Ceremony ticks the few remaining days away, that you will continue to feel so strangely unmoved by it all? Is the terrible 2012 logo at the root of your feelings of indifference? Are you happy to believe that the satirical Twenty Twelve is a real documentary? Are you, in short, beyond hope?
Well, just take a minute to answer the questions below, and maybe you will find some clarity.
The 12 questions have been specially devised by a team of psychological profilers (honestly, there are loads of us here) to determine where you really stand in terms of Olympics apathy, and whether you are a lost cause. Answer a, b, c or d on each question, tot up the answers and refer to the results panel at the end for an astoundingly insightful analysis of your chances of a fulfilling Olympics 2012!