Coronation Street's Lloyd Mullaney should be on The Apprentice

With the ability to set up a fully functioning Carry On Cabby-style taxi firm in 48 hours, he's wasted on the ITV1 soap...

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Coronation Street's Lloyd Mullaney should be on The Apprentice
Written By
Tim Glanfield

Coronation Street’s Lloyd Mullaney has missed his calling, it seems.  Rather than wasting his time hanging out in Weatherfield on ITV the effervescent entrepreneur should surely head for the big smoke, and BBC1, to try his hand at The Apprentice.

I say this because of the unbelievable speed with which he has managed to set up his new cab firm, Fare Ladies – a Carry on Cabby-inspired all-female taxi firm to rival Steve MacDonald’s incumbent Street Cars.

On Monday night Lloyd (played by Craig Charles) discovered that Steve’s offer of a job did not extend to a renewed partnership in the aforementioned Coronation Street-based transport venture.  By Wednesday’s show, Fare Ladies was a fully functioning taxi operation with offices (that appear to be the same place that Kylie Platt was recently discovered lap dancing), drivers, branded taxis, an extensive flyer campaign and even adverts in the local press.

But how did Lloyd manage to go from down-and-out zero (driving a clapped out motor for Primo Cars) to local business hero in less than 48 hours?  Where does Lloyd’s money come from and how was he able to financially prop up Steve’s business in the past?  What is more, how can he be such a brilliant (and speedy) businessman for two days when off screen, but then as soon as the cameras are on him be such a chump again?

Within minutes of his new firm being given prime time publicity on ITV1 on Wednesday night, he began to panic – firstly hiring Tracy “I will ruin you” Barlow as his switchboard operator – and furthermore beginning to complete calls for cabs without asking for any details (like name, time or address) from his clients. 

Lloyd is obviously a complex and mysterious man – but his unpolished business brilliance can surely not go unrewarded.   Lord Sugar, if you’re reading this, call off the search for The Apprentice 2013 on the BBC – he’s already been discovered on ITV…

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