THE TORSO - Adil Rami. Transfer value: £20m
Ladies, and some men, watching Euro 2012 will find the action more enjoyable if this Frenchman swaps shirts at the final whistle of his games. At Lille, he was nicknamed Shrek by his team-mates, as his almost perfect body brings with it a head-spinning balance of brawn and beauty. And they aren't my words, they are the words of… oh, hold on, they are mine. Put it this way, he's a man who, if I played five-a-side football with him, I would wait until I got home before I showered, just in case anybody tried to compare and contrast.