OK! TV is cancelled! But what should replace it?

As Channel 5 axes its entertainment news show, Paul Jones considers some potential replacements

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Just nine months after launching teatime celebrity news show OK! TV, Channel 5 has announced it is cancelling the magazine spin-off.

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The show had a bumpy start, with designated presenter Denise Van Outen dropping out at the eleventh hour, only to be replaced by former Apprentice candidate Kate Walsh, who had previously been axed along with OK! TV’s predecessor Live from Studio Five.

Current hosts Jenny Frost and Jeff Brazier have until February to find new jobs, by which time Richard Desmond will have come up with something (probably fronted by Kate Walsh) to replace OK! TV. Here are some cheaper, yet no less entertaining formats he might like to consider…

Testcard! TV

Bring “back” the BBC testcard to Channel 5! With Kate Walsh as the girl with the toy clown. A special Friday-night show would swap the standard testcard for a still of an empty nightclub, accompanied by a slightly louder than usual high-pitched whine.

Away and Home Again

This evening’s episode of Home and Away played backwards, immediately after the main showing.

Good Evening!

Twenty-five minutes’ non-stop footage of members of the public saying “Good evening”, as collected by our roving cameraman that day and spliced together just before transmission.

Meditate TV

Focus on the white dot in the middle of the screen. How long can you hold your breath for without dying?

The Mirror

Early evening show encouraging you to stare at your reflection in the mirror until the news starts. How do you feel?

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It seems highly unlikely, but if you think you have any ideas better than these, do post them in the comments section below…