Young Apprentice: why I won’t be tuning in again

Children ripping off children, unchallenged by Lord Sugar? No, thanks...

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Upselling to kids, that was a new one on me. But the girls’ team on last night’s Young Apprentice had no such scruples: ask a five- or six-year-old if they’d like an ice-cream cone with extra sprinkles and sauce (like they’re going to say no), then fleece the mum for £3.80.

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What is she going to do, pull it out of the child’s hand? Or, gobsmacked at the fact that they have the gall to charge extra for a cone, reluctantly hand over the money, muttering “Nonsense”?

Ah, I thought, at least they’ll get their comeuppance in the boardroom. Lord Sugar won’t let them get away with spoiling people’s day trips. He’s on the side of the ordinary family in the street (when he’s flying the flag for business on screen at least) – they’ll get what’s coming for their devious selling techniques.

But no, Kinetic made the most money, so instead of a ticking-off, they were not only rewarded with a treat but congratulated for getting the price right!

Alan Sugar says this series is educational, and he’s right. I thought the young were broadly idealistic and fair, and even these shiny-suited young Apprentices involved in a sort of decent John Lewis-version of capitalism, but of course they’re what we made them.

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Why would I imagine this series is about anything other than making money? Behaving decently doesn’t come into it. But that’s me done. I won’t be watching Young Apprentice again.