Rough Cuts: Alan Sugar and The Tiny Fork Diet

It's The Apprentice off-season, so Lord Sugar's applying his back-to-basics approach to weight loss instead...

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Celebrity diets come and go. They’re all about selling books and raising profiles. But when a famously no-nonsense peer of the realm tells us he’s discovered the secret to the dream body, we listen.

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So what is The Tiny Fork Diet? As you’d expect from Lord Sugar, it does exactly what it says on the tin.

“It occurred to me that if I ate more slowly, then I might feel full up sooner,” explains the grizzled one. “So I [started] using a standard knife to cut up the food and a small fork to eat it.

“It certainly did slow me down – you simply can’t get the same quantity of food in your gob… And I did have that full-up feeling when there was a third of the meal still on the plate – so it works!”

Just two questions remain: with miniature cutlery in short supply, when will Lord Sugar launch Amsfork? And will the accompanying exercise video be out in time for Christmas? 

Altogether now, marching on the spot, really work those fingers: And… “One-two – You’re fired! Three-four – Bloody shambles! Five-six – You’re fired! Seven-eight – No schmoozers!”

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Kindle users can download The Tiny Fork Diet for free at amazon.co.uk. But if you’re actually serious about losing weight, you’ll get off your backside and run to your local bookshop for a copy of Lord Sugar’s autobiography The Way I See it, which features a chapter dedicated to the regime