Rough Cuts: Hulk Hogan tackles the riots

Wrestling superstar outlines his plan to get Britain's youth back on the right track

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Rough Cuts is pleased to hear today that a real-life superhero has outlined an action plan to counter the riots sweeping through English cities.

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Wrestling icon and living legend Hulk Hogan appeared as a guest on Richard Bacon’s BBC Radio 5 Live programme this afternoon and offered up his take on how best to tackle Britain’s disaffected youth.

“I just feel like maybe Hulkamania should run over there, start dropping legs, hitting people with big boots and just stop the action,” said the six-time WWE champion.

Though Hogan’s solutions to the widespread looting, arson and violence in the streets extended beyond the sort of heavy-handed tactics he used in the past to fell foes like Andre the Giant. Indeed, the Thunder in Paradise star demonstrated a keen understanding of the underlying psychosocial factors underpinning the riots:

“Let’s rethink this whole thing, let’s get these kids together, change their thinking in a positive direction and break the cycle, this craziness that’s going on with how they were raised and where they’re at…at the end of the day, we need to grab these kids, shake ’em and say ‘stop it’!”

The Home Secretary would do well to take heed.

Though despite his apparent sensitivity, the 57-year-old grappler wrapped up his discussion of Blighty’s current woes by responding to a listener’s request that he come to Britain and start “cracking some skulls” with the following ominous pledge:

“I will do anything because I love my UK Hulkamaniacs, brother.”

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You heard him, kids! Now go on home and put those trainers back…