The Apprentice: series seven, week six

Any old iron? The teams turn Steptoe and Son in a rubbish task

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As a man of science, Tom the inventor probably doesn’t have much truck with superstition. But after five losses out of five, even he must have been wondering whether Logic was cursed. Helen, on the other hand, having won every task, seems to have been living a charmed life. So when she joined the team, someone’s luck had to change.

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It was the ultimate get-your-hands-dirty task this week – collecting other people’s waste, disposing of the really nasty stuff, and trying to sell the rest.

Logic and Venture wore fetching overalls, red and blue respectively, which were invaluable in helping keep track of who was with who. I wonder if maybe this colour-coding of the teams could be made a permanent thing? I know the candidates wear business suits most of the time, and of course we don’t want them to end up dressed like Lenny Henry, but possibly a coloured tie for the boys and some kind of subtle hair accoutrement for the girls? A Lady Gaga bow, perhaps?

Anyhow, something for the producers to think about.

Lord Sugar “laid on” a couple of clearance jobs for the teams to compete over. The question is, when removing someone’s rubbish, part of which might be worth a few quid, do you pay them or do they pay you?

Suzie thought the former, Zoe thought the latter and, while Venture argued about it, Helen hedged her bets, offered to do the work for free and won all the business for Logic.

Probably just as well, since Tom and Jim’s strategy at this stage consisted of driving down a road shouting at houses through a megaphone like a police Swat team, before door-stepping the owners and demanding all their metal belongings. At least they drew the line at taking stuff from people’s front gardens. Just.

At Venture, the penny had dropped. Suzie’s sudden realisation that she was not, after all, an idiot was heart-warming to behold. But Zoe was in tears. A heroic Glenn vowed they would “smash it” the next day. But Richard Keys has ruined that phrase for me.

The race was on to find any old iron (and any old copper and steel) and I must admit there was something quite inspiring about watching the teams gather up a load of unwanted metal, stick it on a weighing machine and get a wad of cash in return.

I briefly considered going into waste management myself before deciding that if I can’t manage to put the recycling out on a Sunday night, I probably don’t have what it takes.

In a tense boardroom weigh-in, Logic scored their first victory by a margin of just six quid, and Helen claimed her sixth win in six weeks. 666? Does Helen have the luck of the devil? Or is this analogy just rubbish?

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As Venture were called back in, Zoe looked a good bet to be fired, until Edna committed Apprenticide by wheeling out her Master’s in Innovation and Entrepreneurship. It was like she’d never even met Lord Sugar. Three degrees, Edna has – and she’s great at heavy lifting. What a waste.