DIGGING OUT THAT CLIP OF AISLEYNE WITH JUST THREE DAYS OF VOTING TO GO SEEMS QUITE A LOW TRICK.

Here's yer best bits

Having watched as much Big Brother 7 as I have this summer, if I could get my hands on the entire 2,160 hours of footage, I'd happily show you vaguely unsettling "defining moments" about everybody.

Such as Pete on day 5 suddenly announcing in the pool, apropos of nothing, "I've got something to show you!" before pulling out his private parts and waving it around in front of the women.

I found this really creepy. I'm not a fan of uninvited sexual exposure. That's why I rarely get the last tube home alone. George didn't like Pete's act either; he just stared uncomfortably. The footage was shown briefly on the highlights show, shot from a long distance, but never surfaced again. After all, we all make mistakes.

If I was editing the last week of BB7, I'd play all of Richard's audition tape, simply for the bit where he licks his leather glove menacingly and says: "I'd seduce a corpse. I completely lack grace. I have the manners of an untrained dog. For £100,000 I think I could be pretty f***ing ruthless. In the Big Brother house all those boys are going to be climbing the walls to get out and I'm going to be dragging them back in by their underwear."

Out of context, Richard sounds less like cuddly Uncle Dickie and more like Henry Lee Lucas on the movie Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer.

I'd root out the footage of Glyn from day 73 involving the used condom that he left in the diary room for an Endemol runner to dispose of. Or maybe I'd just pick out some of the times Glyn's ranted in a heavily ageist manner about how old people (ie over 30s) have no right at all to be in the house. Obviously, showing Glyn's very bad temper, or the way his face can suddenly become very piggy and aggressive when luck doesn't fly his way, doesn't fit in with the tale of "Glyn's fantastic journey".

I'd show Nikki's "I'm not designed to be a pauper/I don't go on the peasant wagon" (ie the bus) speech. Or maybe the part in her audition tape where she lays out in stone her blatant wish to be this year's main house romance.

I'd also dig out all the footage of Nikki's unreasonable aggression against vulnerable transsexual Sam; including the incident when Sam tried to have a joke about using tampons and Nikki turned on her, barking in her face: "What are you?! A man or a woman?" and had to be told to back off by Ash. Or just the many times Nikki called Sam a "man-beast" to entertain fellow Mean Girl, Grace.

Poor Jennie wouldn't come across in my edit so well, either. I'd show her very bad temper and her attraction to both Glyn and Pete, and her apparent amnesia about her long-term boyfriend.

"Do you think love like this even exists?" says Jennie, staring at the text of A Midsummer Night's Dream, then staring at Pete, "Cos I've never felt it." That must have been nice for him back at home in Liverpool. But then Jennie, according to her full audition tape, isn't totally nice. "I'm a nice girl, but nice girls aren't always nice, are they?" she says, pointedly.

Ignoring children's tantrums is the best way to break the power-play cycle. If we all turn away and pretend Nikki's invisible, she might just grow up

With this in mind, it seemed ironic last night to watch the housemates' abject horror at a comment from Ash's audition tape. Big Brother had set a "guess who said what?" game. The screen filled with a vaguely drunken-looking Ash in bad lip-liner saying: "I'm spoilt, I'm like a princess, but if you get on the wrong side of me, I'll f*** you up!"

"Oh, my god, what was she thinking?!" gasps Richard, who's forgotten about his dismal audition threats. "I mean…that looks bad. That looks really bad!" "She's worse than me!" shouts self-confessed "gob on a stick" Jennie. "God, that looks awful," says Pete biting his lip, "She's not like that at all."

Ash is mortified. She knows that in a previous life she may have hung out in circles where this sort of L'il Kim-style bravado is de rigeur, but out of context she just looks like a bloody idiot.

Digging out this four-second clip with just three days of voting to go was quite a low trick when everyone else got off so lightly; but then, as Dermot O'Leary often says without qualification on Big Brother's Little Brother, "Ash is a very unpopular housemate."

Ash sits in the diary room, with red-rimmed eyes, tearfully trying to explain that where she's from it's easy to adopt this dog-eat-dog attitude and come out with daft statements. Taking a step back from her normal life has made her realise the idiocy of it.

"But I know now that life's not like that," sniffs Ash, though no-one's really listening, "That's why this place has been so good for me." There was a time when a journey like this would win a person Big Brother, but Ash hasn't got a chance, not now she's been shown in contrast with perfect Pete, whose main crime according to the "who said what" game was that he could be "silly".

"You better know ya-self, girl-friend!" shouts little middle-class Nikki, again imitating Ash; Nikki's been at it since day 15 and it's still as bloody funny.

Personally, I'm not sure why Ash's voice is so unendingly hilarious to people, but then I live in east London where every school kid on the bus speaks like Ash whatever colour they happen to be - from stark white to dark brown and including every skin tone in between. Loads of kids in inner-city London speak a sort of cockney-style Jamaican with bits of Pakistani and American hip-hop speak mixed in.

I don't think every kid in east London is "being a fake!!!" I think that the accent is one of those things that just happens in multi-cultural Britain. I found Nikki going on and on about Ash's accent bearable at first, but now I find it slightly politically dubious as Nikki clearly believes Ash is less of a person than her for being what Nikki so charmingly termed on day 43 as "a wannabe black".

Big Brother stages a "Big Brother Musical", which gives everyone the chance to insult each other a bit more. It also gives Nikki the chance to throw another one of her tantrums. I really could write more here about the far-reaching social significance of Endemol glorifying Nikki's behaviour as something that school children can respect and aspire to.

I could even argue forcefully that feeding kids Nikki is more harmful in the long run than feeding them bad "don't f*** with me" hip-hop. But after watching the footage of Nikki's tantrum through again, I have decided not to write about her at all. Personally, I believe ignoring children's tantrums is the best way to break the power-play cycle. If we all turn away and pretend she's invisible, she might just bloody grow up.

It's only a game show, isn't it? Mail me on grace.dent@bbc.co.uk.