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Name Samantha
Age 18
Lives Stoke
Occupation Studying social work in Manchester
Status Single
According to Samantha's launch-night VT she is…
Squeaky, wide-eyed, breathless, childish, ditzy. Totally indistinguishable from her twin sister and seems to revel in the fact. The twins believe that they provide a sort of public service "brightening up any dull room" with their effervescence. Everyone smiles when they see them, they say.
First impressions
Rather annoying, but the housemates EVERYONE in Britain was talking about the next day. Certainly not boring.
Samantha is…
…the slightly rounder-faced twinny with darker hair. Samantha likes playing charades, having silly water fights, making up fabby dance routines, talking about Bring It On and finishing sentences with "Do yer luv it?!" and "Woooo!"
A lot of everything else Sam and Amanda say is totally indecipherable; sounding more like just a collection of squeaks and wibbles, not dissimilar to a Clangers' tea party. Sam has a simple, innocent attitude to house relations.
She doesn't bitch, manipulate or throw her weight around. Many viewers love the twins and say they're the perfect housemates as they never grumble, grate or back-stab. In fact they're little rays of sunshine all day long, like children at a grown-up's tea party making their own fun.
The twins bring out the maternal streak in everyone. Lesley used to leave chocolate biscuits on their pillows as secret treats. When Emily was chucked out Lesley took the sobbing twins to the side and said, "Don't worry now, girls, Emily's mummy and daddy will be there for her on the other side!" This cheered the twins up no end - they were soon playing tag and drinking cola.
Samantha quotes
(Pointing at the neon-lit corridor to the diary room) "Wooooo-hooooo! It's a tanning room! Wow! We're going to be so brown!"
"Chick peas!!!"
"We don't want the ham that looks like it has the pig inside it! Wafer-thin, please!!!"
"Oooh, my God - we are totally psychopathic!" (Points at colander sprayed silver with a whisk attached to it) "Can we keep these?"
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Name Amanda
Age 18
Lives Stoke
Occupation Studying social work in Manchester
Status Single
According to Amanda's launch-night VT she is…
"Silly. Air-headed. Obsessed with pink. Eighteen but acts 11. Purposefully vacuous. Prone to doing star jumps in pink Barbie tutu squealing 'Wooooooooo!'." Apparently Amanda LOVES her twin sister and does everything with her. Same university course, same outfits, same make-up…if there's a fit boy in there, we'll share him! Wooo-hoooo!
First impressions
They're either depressing post-post feminists who want to be pwincesses and live in a world full of pink, or evil geniuses with an eye on being the next Cheeky Girls. Or nice girls who'll turn out to be quite sweet once they calm down and stop shrieking like Donald and Davy Stott.
Amanda is…
…the twin with the longer face and the blonder hair. Reports say that she is slightly more vain that her sister. Aside from that, it's still twincredibly hard to tell them apart. Just like her sister, Amanda loves wearing tutus, tickling people, making pyramids in the pool, gymnastics, singing Barbie Girls and songs from Grease, jumping up and down and making a sound that only police dogs can pick up.
The twins play the innocent sweet coquettish card very well, but some people argue that this doesn't sit well with their offers of massages, cuddles and under-duvet wrestles with the boys. Sam and Amanda have an advantage over most housemates as they have each other for support and often don't have to talk to communicate. Their biggest advantage, however, is that they're so darned nice and well-meaning that they fly under the radar every single nomination day. Nominating the twins is like taking a gun and shooting Bambi. Amanda's funniest moment might have been when she was forced to dress as a hot dog to quell her "Pride".
Amanda quotes
"Look at the pinkness! OMG! Look at all the pinkness!"
"We're twincredible!"
"Weeeeeeeee!" "Woooooooo!" "Screeeeeeeech!"
"There are the beds! Shall we bounce on the beds?!"
"Weight loss!"
(To Shauny) "What? Leprechauns are real?! Never! How good is that?!"
"I look HORRIBLE! How long do I have to be a hot dog for?!"
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Name Lesley
Age 60
Lives Gloucestershire
Occupation Retired headhunter, Women's Institute member and ex-Cambridge University don
Status Married (to a man 23 years older than her). Has two children and two grandchildren
According to Lesley's launch-night VT she is…
A school-marmish dragon who has "terrible temper tantrums", plays golf and lives in a big, posh house where she drinks champagne, has a personal trainer and a cook.
First impressions
Has a dry, sarcastic sense of humour that seems to go over everyone's heads. Claims to be eccentric and unpredictable but actually seems very wise and practical.
Lesley quotes
(Pointing at the beds) "Oh, yes, that single one is mine. The producer said I could have it. Yes he did. I'm sorry about that."
(Day 1, half an hour after arriving and listening to the twins screaming, Lesley picks up the house phone and says hopefully) "I wonder if I can get a mini-cab?"
(Talking about her plans for an OAP fashion range) "I believe there is a market for stylish clothes for people who are still relatively continent."
(Sorting out the housework rota) "I'll be doing mangling…and postmodern irony."
"I am more bored than is acceptable!"
(Lesley has some great ideas for livening the house up) "I was just saying, perhaps one night Carole could give a short talk on ecology in the home?"
Chanelle: "Ooh, do you like Harvey Nichols, Lesley? "I love Harvey Nichols!"
Lesley: (loftily) "Yes, but the difference is dear, that I can afford to shop there. It's tragic really."
Walked Day 11
Lesley was bored as bored could be by the squeaky house girlies. She was framed for weeing in the shower by Charley, and this left her an outsider early in the game. Eventually, she walked on day 11, and left saying that she'd gained everything she felt she could from the experience. She gave Seány short shrift about his duvet-pulling antics as she went. One of my favourite housemates of all time.
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Name Charley
Age 21
Lives South London
Occupation Unemployed/south London party girl/ex-lap dancer
Status Single
According to Charley's launch-night VT she is…
As Glamorous by Fergie plays as backing track, Charley is cavorting in a haystack in shorts, throwing soft-porn poses intercut with sound bites like "I don't work, but I still get to shop. I go to celebrity haunts and just blaze it up!" Charley has been painted as a workshy sponger who rates herself 10/10.
First impressions
Looks like a boil-washed Beyoncé. Possibly not as hard-nosed as she makes out. Is living her life riding on her footballer-cousin's coat-tails.
Charley is…
…arguably one of the most annoying, volatile, outrageous housemates in Big Brother history. Charley is naturally highly argumentative. It doesn't even matter if there's nothing to argue about. Charley can simply imagine she had spotted someone giving her a dirty look from ten metres away then spin it into a huge issue, with tantrums, clawing the door to go home and housemates crying. Charley had arguments with almost every housemate, aside from the twins, although they didn't avoid her bitchy tongue.
Charley suffered from worrying delusions of grandeur - honestly believing herself to be of supermodel beauty and friend to the stars including R Kelly and half of the England football team. It's difficult to work out whether Charley's ability to stretch the truth is a defence mechanism, or simply her winding people up - or whether she's not aware she's doing it at all.
Serious BB viewers argue that one of the downfalls of BB8 was the deliberate bending of rules to keep Charley as a housemate at any cost. For example, one week Charley and Billi were up for eviction. When Big Brother accused them of talking about nominations, he cancelled their votes - leading to Billi being shown the door. On another occasion, Charley was evicted, then put back in moments later. Charley makes Nikki from BB7 seem like a really well-adjusted, polite young lady. GET CHARLEY OUT!
Charley quotes
"I'm a size 4!"
"I'm here for fame. I'm not going to deny that…they put me in cos I'm a party girl. I party Monday to whenever."
"Pah! Kieran wouldn't go to Sunderland!"
"Alright, Gel!"
"You fink you look like Posh?! You iz a f***ing Plain Jane! Ugly b****!!"
"I'm only being honest! Can I just say somefin'?! Can I just say somefin'?! I know what I heard! I know you were giving me looks like that! And I ain't gonna put up wiv it!"
"The fing is, I saw all those crowds out there and I saw the banners and they all love me! And Davina put her arms round me and she said I was unique!"
Evicted
On day 45, Charley was fake-evicted. She was evicted for real on day 59.
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Name Tracey
Age 36
Lives Cambridgeshire
Occupation Cleaner/raver
Status Single
According to Tracey's launch-night VT she is…
A BBC prop department-style 1991 cheesy quaver who runs around forests in a rainbow-coloured hoodie and patchwork trousers shouting "Top one, I'm off me nut all weekend! 'Ave it!"
First impressions
Grating. One of those peace and love hippy-raver types who's actually quite bad tempered and abrupt. Almost everything she says sounds like the lyrics Mr C from The Shamen might have written in 1993.
Tracey is…
…exactly the same as she was on day one! Except maybe a little more abrupt and short tempered. Tracey's reliance on a stock selection of catchphrases, rather than real conversation has annoyed her fellow housemates.
"Deal with it!" Tracey tends to shout whenever challenged. Gerry was the first to spot that she uses snappy one-liners as a barrier. Tracey's most solid bond in the house was with Charley. She appeared to approve of most of Charley's erratic behaviour and even egg her on. Tracey, Charley and Nicky spent day after day in the caravan huddled like a coven of witches, bitching about Ziggy and Chanelle. But then let's face it, there was plenty to bitch about.
Tracey doesn't display a sweet or slushy side very often, but her loyalty to the group during the Sins task was very touching. For the good of the group Tracey refused money, limitless baccy, alcohol, extra nominations and even a car. Tracey doesn't bother with make-up or dresses, although she certainly scrubbed up well when the other girls made her over with lipstick and blusher. Not that the transformation lasted for long. "That ain't Trace!" she yelled, before washing her face and going back to resembling someone who lives in an oak tree and petitions against road bypasses.
Tracey quotes
"I'm proper 'avin' it."
"If you can't deal with me, unlucky Kentucky!"
"None of you lot are on my level."
"I don't wear make-up. I'm just Trace."
"You can keep your money, Big Brother…I DON'T WANT YOUR DOLLAR."
"Will everyone shut up? I'm trying to get some sleep."
"Australian my arse…she's from Hackney!"
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Name Chanelle
Age 19
Lives Middletown, Wakefield
Occupation Sixth-form student
Status Single
According to Chanelle's launch-night VT she is…
Obsessed with resembling Victoria Beckham. Her VT is full of Chanelle doing the full range of Posh poses. "Standing." "Sitting." "Walking Moodily" and "Eating a Strawberry." (Or as Posh knows it: "A real blowout".) "You need a fun Yorkshire person on Big Brother," she says, "That's me!"
First impressions
A bit vain and daft. Not very quick on the uptake. Lesley made the remark that Chanelle doesn't imitate Posh, it's really Posh who imitates Chanelle. "No, I don't think so cos Posh doesn't know who I am," explained Chanelle sincerely.
Chanelle is…
Chanelle had the potential to be a brilliant housemate. At times she was funny, especially in the diary room when she was laying into the other housemates. Chanelle's downfall was her relationship with Ziggy. Despite the fact that neither of the couple was the slightest bit happy, they continued their on/off, on/off bicker fest week after week until everyone in Britain was sick of them.
Viewers were sick to death of drippy Chanelle wandering about with her stuffed bunny crying, screaming and obsessing that Ziggy was talking or - gasp - looking at Charley. Chanelle was often called "bunny boiler" by the other housemates. Many viewers believed that the only thing that kept her in a relationship with Ziggy was the belief that they'd be the new Posh and Becks, gracing every magazine cover with their cheesy good looks. Chanelle's most entertaining moments were probably her tantrums. Chanelle didn't like the swimming task. Or the sardine task. And let's not even talk about the violin task…or the time Emily Parr tried to get first go with the hair straighteners.
Chanelle quotes
"I base my image on Victoria Beckham."
"People say Victoria can't sing but I've got BOTH of her albums, one of which wasn't released cos her record company went bust but I bought it off the internet ANYWAY!"
"I want to be a Wag."
"I like nothing-flavour crisps. Nothing flavour? That's it, isn't it, nothing flavour? Hang on…"fried-potato flavour," that's it.
"Carole is touching the toilet paper…then coughing and putting it on the table…where people put their feet! And if
someone has, like, foot impetigo…then we'll all get it and we'll end up with genital herpes!"
(Sobbing in the diary room) "I have been looking forward ALL DAY and getting excited about my hair being long enough to tie in a bobble!"
"Don't look at her! Why are you looking at her, Zach? Every time I look over you're looking at Charley! Why don't you go and sleep in her bed then! Go on!"
"Zach! Don't smoke, Zach! Can you not do that for me! Why are you smoking?"
"How much did this violin cost? Ten pounds!?"
Walked
Chanelle walked out of the Big Brother house on 30 July. Britain breathed a sigh of relief. She'd already threatened to go 27 times.
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Name Shabnam
Age 22
Lives North London
Occupation Temp receptionist
Status Single
According to Shabnam's launch-night VT she is…
A real handful. "People think I'm a lunatic. Like a nutcase," she says. "I try to clash my clothes and my make-up! I have no sense of rhythm but I love to dance! I'm too creative to be tied down by a job!" (VT shows shots of Shabs bodypopping badly in a leopard-skin jacket, yellow scarf and neon-pink fingerless gloves.)
First impressions
Sweet at times, but also quite socially awkward. Tends to shout bizarre things and be extra-hyperactive to the point of hysteria. Keeps butting into everyone's conversations to add stuff like "I don't blow-dry my hair!" Could be this year's Sam from BB7.
Shabnam quotes
"Hey! Why don't we all be lesbians and make the boys jealous?"
"Big Brother, when can we have some penises, I mean men."
(Running over to Gerry as he enters the house for the first time and
clasping him by both ears) "I'm not allowed to wear make-up!"
I always act like I'm the queen of my road.
If I walk out now…will I still get my deals?
Evicted Day 17
Shabnam had a "lively" personality. She was a true, erm, "eccentric". She rabbited on for 17 days at 100mph about past lives, cosmic alignment, her make-up bag and the deals she'd get after BB8. Meanwhile, everyone else did the washing up, cooking and cleaning. It also transpired Shabnam had been on Channel 4's Embarrassing Illnesses show months previously complaining of turbo dandruff.
Shabnam left to a sonic boom of booing from the Elstree crowd, which she made much worse by doing an extended, even less rhythmic version of Ricky Gervais's Office dance routine…eventually Davina led her to safety.
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Name Emily
Age 19
Lives Bristol
Occupation Performing arts student
Status Single
According to Emily's launch-night VT she is…
Level-headed, rich but not spoiled, a bit of a Tory girl. VT features her rolling about in her bedroom among hundreds of handbags and pairs of shoes, while claiming that her parents have taught her the "value of money".
First impressions
Lovely and clever and seemingly harmless. But so was Grace Adams-Short in week one.
Emily quotes
"I don't do losing. I win. Team Emily!"
"There's this new music that is taking over the country called Indie!"
"Y'know skinny jeans, yeah? When were you wearing yours, yeah? One and a half years ago? I had a pair three and a half years ago! Then everyone copied me."
Removed Day 9
Emily was a pretty, yet precocious brat. She was never far from the epicentre of any house trouble. Emily liked to shout the things that needed to be said, then sit back and enjoy the stinky atmosphere. Emily came a cropper on day nine when she jokingly called Charley a "n******". She was removed immediately to prevent complaints to Ofcom and civil unrest.
Emily was on the cover of Heat magazine the following week. She's now the poster-girl for "political correctness gone mad" among vaguely racist people who can't grasp the concept of "context" and "knowing when to bloody shut up".
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Name Laura
Age 23
Lives South Wales
Occupation Nanny
Status Single
According to Laura's launch-night VT she is…
Laura's a happy, sweet-natured nanny, who dreams of becoming an embalmer. She volunteers to sweep leaves at the local cemetery. She hates the smell of fags and her mates say she looks like Peter Kay. A vision of bubbly loveliness. She says she loves food and she knows that makes her "sound bad". It doesn't, it makes you sound like a normal, healthy woman.
First impressions
Happy, homely and sincere. Seems like a potential winner. For now, but who knows what demons lie beneath her happy smile when she's starving hungry and locked in a house with a load of 20-a-day-chugging size-4 harpies.
Laura is…
…not the happy bundle of joy she was painted as originally. Laura spent much of her time in bed wearing her grubby leopard-skin dressing gown, eye mask and fluffy slippers. Never short of a bad word to say about anyone, Laura was great at starting arguments, but would then duck out and leave everyone else at war. Laura had a good, dry sense of humour and enjoyed winding up Brian about Wales having no running water or electricity. She also loved to say what was on everyone's minds and didn't hold back in telling Ziggy his relationship was a sham.
Laura's biggest fault was her laziness. Carole pleaded with her to wash her dressing gown - Laura responded by telling her to take a look at her feet. It was a pity when Laura was evicted. Her and Liam were just beginning to get very cosy indeed. Despite the housemates' dreams, Laura was not sent to Big Brother Australia.
Laura quotes
"Ooh, I think it's important to look nice when you're dead!"
"I don't drink booze, I drink squash. But the thing is, sometimes squash is dearer than booze!"
"I came in here cos I'm very narrow-minded and I want to meet people and make my mind, er, wider."
"Me name's Laura…but everyone calls me Wangers. Cos I've got big, er, hands."
"Oh, right, yeah, Ziggy, so if you saw Chanelle out in a bar you'd make a play for her. Yeah? Right? Course you would! A 19-year-old girl! Yeah, course you would."
"No, Brian, we don't have toilets. We have to dig a hole at the bottom of our gardens. I know! It's true!"
Evicted
Day 38.
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Name Nicky
Age 27
Lives Watford
Occupation Accounts executive in a bank
Status Single
According to Nicky's launch-night VT she is…
Beautiful yet morose Watford girl who seems fixated on the fact that people think she is Muslim or Hindu - and a devout one at that - when actually she's not, she's a Catholic girl who was adopted from Mumbai. Nicky wants to explain to everyone once and for all who she is. Britain is relieved as we've been puzzling about that for years…no hang on, we've never set eyes on you before. Nicky reportedly "hates men" as they're nasty little creatures - "I can't tolerate them at the moment", although admits she'd love to pull Calum Best. She should definitely do that. That'll sort her attitude to men out. That man's a solid-gold keeper.
First impressions
This series's Jo O'Meara. Woman most likely to be seen scowling and smoking in a dressing gown.
Nicky is…
…a right old miserable git, a relentless pessimist about men and an awful nag. However, she certainly had her fans who were never slow to point out that a lot of her doom was tongue-in-cheek. Or that maybe Nicky's depression was a symptom of a summer locked up with Ziggy, Carole and Chanelle. Nicky loved smoking, frowning and sitting in the caravan bitching. She had a brief moment of letting her heart roam free to fancy Liam, but when he kept her at arm's length she decided she loathed him after all. Oddly enough, Liam thought Nicky might be a "bit of a nightmare".
Big Brother tried lots of things to make Nicky happier. He put her in a "Room of Nicky" full of pretty pics of herself to bolster her confidence. (It failed.) He let her come to his birthday party and eat cake. (It made her sick.) By the end of her stay, several people were avoiding Nicky…although it still seemed very mean when Ziggy pulled her aside just before nominations and told her he didn't enjoy her company right to her face. Nicky found herself in trouble many times for daring to say that Ziggy and Chanelle's relationship was going nowhere. Eek - imagine that?!
Nicky quotes
"I love cigarettes and electro music."
"Do I look really miserable?"
Nicky trying to martial the food: "OK, you can have a pork pie! A pork pie isn't a meal. But cheese is
a vital ingredient in a meal, so we can't just be eating the cheese
willy-nilly, right?! No, I'm not bothered if someone has a piece of
bread. No bread is OK. Yes, I've said a pork pie is OK! But milk? No, the milk is important! We need to think about milk! No, I'm not being
boring! This is for everyone! OK, you can have a pork pie, Charley…(repeat till fade).
"Ooooooh, marry me!" (Nicky channelling thoughts in Liam's direction.)
"I'm in the Room of Nicky. I feel very, very happy" (said in a very miserable voice).
Evicted
Day 52.
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Name Carole
Age 53
Lives London
Occupation Young people's sexual health and HIV worker - unemployed
Status Single but has three grown-up children
According to Carole's launch-night VT she is…
Carole is in her garden in east London wearing a Beats not Bombs T-shirt. Her spiel goes: "I'm gonna go in that house and I'm gonna f***ing shake things up. I'm gonna shake people up. If people think they're in for an easy time, they haven't met me. Throughout my life I've been involved in demonstrations. I'm campaigning to save local hospitals and I'm part of the Stop the War campaign. I've been arrested for obstruction. I've been cautioned a few times on anti-apartheid demos on Greenham Common. The people in there will be shaking s***less. If people want an argument, I'm the f***ing argument."
First impressions
Millie Tant from Viz channelling Bod's mate Aunt Flo, but with Sir Alan Sugar's beard. Yet she's strangely endearing at the same time and seems like a good laugh. The "I'm going to shake things up" rant would be more scary if we'd not heard similar threats from BB7 Richard's "I'm a sexual terrorist" and BB6 Vanessa's "Ooh, I'm a mad me!" (Translation: I will sit around silently for ten weeks looking like one of the Banana Splits post death.)
Carole is…
…one tough older lady. Although she's not a shouter and a fighter as she previously made out. Carole gets her own way far more subtly. Quietly and sulkily, Carole's voice is forever crackling with tears and disappointment. No-one truly wants to make an enemy of Carole; after all, she does most of the cooking.
Carole is possibly the most strong-minded person in the house. She has no body hang-ups and is happy to parade about in a swimming costume showing all the bumps, wobbles and hairy patches of a real older lady. She rarely ever complains about being decades older than everyone in there. Carole isn't backwards in personal criticism and has had a bust-up with almost every housemate, but so far this has usually resulted in the other housemate being shown the door, then when the dust settles, Carole standing in her old familiar place: in the kitchen, by the stove. "After a nuclear war," says Gerry, "There will be just cockroaches…and Carole cooking for the cockroaches."
Carole quotes
"Are you not tired, girls?" (the twins are bouncing on the sofa at 2am) "Oh, well, you can just play if you want to play!"
"I'm Carole, I'm cool, I do aerobics by the pool."
"No, I can't do that" (Carole refusing to give Laura £100,000).
"Warmth not waste!" Carole getting political about the, erm, environment…or something.
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Name Ziggy
Age 26
Lives London
Occupation Music producer/promoter
Status Single
According to Ziggy's launch-night VT he is…
A posh ex-boyband member, who now whiles away his days walking his dog, "hitting the gym" and being a music promoter/producer. There didn't seem to be any footage available of Ziggy doing either of these jobs. Ziggy lives with his mum. There was lots of talk in his tape about what a winner he is and how he never comes second place, without really tackling how being in a boyband that only reached number 13 in the charts, then split, fitted into this "winner" ethos.
First impressions
Ziggy seems like a rather lovable and charming cad. He knows exactly how to woo women into a state of swivel-eyed glee using heavy-handed compliments, a cheeky smile and other special moves (ie whipping his top off and doing press-ups, rubbing suntan oil into his pecs etc.)
Ziggy is…
…probably his own worst enemy. After a strong start, wowing all the ladies in the surrounding district, alpha-male Ziggy chose the prettiest doe-like girl, Chanelle, all for his own. Ziggy was a mature 26, Chunnel a childish 19. The only thing the pair had in common was that they thought the other was "fit". Together they were a complete nightmare. If Ziggy could have nipped this toxic relationship in the bud, he'd have far more fans than he does now: ie his mum and his dog.
Instead Ziggy slagged Chanelle off at every opportunity, told the diary room and every other housemate that he wasn't into her, before he curled up in bed with her almost every night. At heart, Ziggy isn't a bad person. He's obsessed with "respect" and "honour" and doing the right thing. Sadly, all he's done is annoy Britain's women with his two-facedness and lack of willpower. But Ziggy has got the capability to love passionately and deeply. We saw this when Molly, his beautiful Shar Pei, arrived. If Big Brother had just let Ziggy take his beloved dog into the house in the first place, he probably wouldn't have needed anyone else to keep him warm at night. Ziggy was constantly being accused of fancying Charley, possibly because in a very base, highly sexual way, he absolutely DID.
Ziggy quotes
To Chanelle: "You're a very pretty girl."
To Laura: "You're very funny, aren't you?"
To Lesley: "I think you're so brave. I really admire you for coming here."
I want you to remember Chanelle, I am VERY FOND of you.
Prawns! Chocolates! Doughnuts! Oh, god…this is all my favourite food, isn't it?
So, Poo…are you sporty?
"We'll find love on the northern line!"
"When did I ever wear leather trousers!? I never wore leather trousers! OK, except in the video."
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Name Gerry
Age 31
Lives London (is originally from Athens)
Occupation Art gallery researcher. "Gerry has three degrees and says he is over-qualified and unemployable"
Status Single
According to Gerry's launch-night VT he is…
Gerry spends his spare time skipping gaily through forests to a Mika backing track, clutching daffodils. Or wandering around fairgrounds in a leather jacket blowing kisses. Gerry likes to talk about Kylie Minogue and ancient Greek civilisation. Gerry is gay but "fancies a change". He has lost track of everyone he has slept with so far. Gerry claims he's 29 in his audition tape. He is probably a fibber.
First impressions
Gerry seems like a breath of fresh air. He's clever. Eloquent. Polite. Affable. However this could be because he came in with Seány. Anyone could look good compared to Seány. Even Vlad the Impaler.
Gerry is…
…the thinking person's housemate. If you're a fan of ancient Greek civilization or high-brow chats about museums, art and psychotherapy techniques, Gerry is certainly your man. Gerry is deep and thoughtful and can be prone to warbling on and on, even when no-one is listening. Gerry often annoys some of the less-serious housemates like Brian and the twins, as sometimes he turns the day into one long philosophy lecture. He is very sensible and controlled in most aspects of his life. He doesn't drink, smoke or take drugs. Gerry's one vice, however, is pulling men. He shocked the housemates by admitting to having had almost 3,000, er, "romances". Brian was speechless!
Gerry can plod along in the house quietly for days then erupt into a huge argument if someone pushes their luck. It was a dark day for the housemates when they refused to let him choreograph the Kylie Minogue routine. Oddly, Gerry was the only housemate who ever gave Charley a taste of her own medicine argument-wise. Sadly for Gerry, once he got down to Charley's level, he found it was a pretty sad place to be. Gerry may infuriate some viewers, who think he's pompous and smug, however many others are simply grateful that at least one of the housemates is a charismatic brain box who knows his Dickens from his Descartes.
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Name Seány
Age 25
Lives Manchester (is originally from Derry in Northern Ireland)
Occupation Charity worker
Status Single
According to Seány's launch-night VT he is…
Seány says he's a krrrazy, fun sort of guy. In his VT he's dressed like a joke shop Flava Flav and is dancing about to U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer. Seány is proud that he was one of Michael Jackson's biggest supporters during his LA trial. The VT also shows him in a red leather Thriller outfit performing crotch-grabbing dance moves. Seány says that he wouldn't be happy if there were "elderly people" in the house, although he accepts that they are "living history".
First impressions
Seány's opening-night gambit was to wake Lesley up at 4am by whipping off her duvet. Seven hours later, Lesley chose to leave the Big Brother house. Nice one, Seány. Middle-earth is that way, you horrid little hobbit.
Evicted
Day 24.
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Name Billi
Age 25
Lives Uxbridge, Middlesex
Occupation Model
Status Single
According to Billi's launch-night VT he is…
Billi is quite sure that he is gorgeous. As Strict Machine by Goldfrapp plays, Billi talks in a vacuous manner about having his hair straightened (with the intention, I hope, of looking like David Banner turning into the Hulk - or else I expect he wants a refund). Billi likes blonde women with nothing to say who don't challenge him. And hopefully deaf women, too, as his voice is like Henry's Cat on Valium and no-one wants to hear a grown man talk about Wrestle Mania. Billi doesn't want to be a model any more. He wants to be a stylist. Or to be on telly as "everyone says he should be".
First impressions
Dull. Covered in make-up. One of those dumb people who smugly think they're actually really deep. Seems to eye up the whole room, settle for Chanelle as the only one worth his attention, then when she's not available, just carry on pursuing her anyhow.
Evicted
Day 31.
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Name Jonathan
Age 49
Lives Islington, London
Occupation Founder and president of a media agency
Status Engaged to be married
According to Jonathan's launch-night VT he is…
A shrewd, straight-talking millionaire with a dark edge. As Frank Sinatra plays, Jonathan broods in various parts of his enormous Islington mansion. His nickname, he claims, is Beelzebub. "I can't wait for eight million people to stare at my wonderfulness," he adds.
First impressions
A genuinely fascinating random factor. Jonathan is obviously incredibly intelligent and clued up on how the media game works. He's built a million-pound business around it. He doesn't need the money either. So why is he here? Pure ego? And is he really as horrid as he likes people to think he is? Intriguing.
Walked
Jonathan left the Big Brother house after learning of his grandmother's death.
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Name Brian
Age 19
Lives Essex
Occupation Data-entry clerk
Status Single
According to Brian's launch-night VT he is…
Brian says he's "the ultimate party boy!". Look at him dancing to the latest Armband Van Headband dance mix sensation! Brian lives with his mum but that's OK cos she does all his cooking and washing - he only has to clean his own room and "that's a piece of p**s". Brian believes he can do self-hypnosis. And cosmic ordering. That must be where he got the blue contact lenses.
First impressions
Brian doesn't appear to have a bad bone in his body. He's happy and smiley and exudes loveliness. He immediately attaches himself to fellow good-natured simpletons Samanda the twinnies, and is genuinely excited by their twinny "introduce yourself" song.
Brian is…
…one of the most well-loved characters on Big Brother 8. He's sweet, well-mannered and a bit of a softy. OK, he gets a little, er, over-amorous sometimes around Amanda, but we can forgive him that. Brian plays the roll of the simple-minded house fool very well, however, many viewers feel that Brian simply lacks confidence in his brain power and underestimates his own shrewdness. Some feel he is an evil genius who is playing stupid to win.
Brian claims not to have heard of the play Romeo and Juliet. His "caravan" holiday ended in disaster when he drank too much cider on the first night and wet his sleeping bag. Brian loves cider but hates keeping secrets. He may clash with Gerry often over Gerry's boring insistence in talking about "moooseumunart", but all in all he is adored by almost everyone. Charley's biggest mistake was turning on Brian. That was the start of her downfall.
Brian quotes
"Oh, Big Brudddeeer!"
"Oh, shatttttttaaaap shaaaaaatap!"
"I don't want to talk about moooooseumunart!"
"Oh, I have mugged myself right off there, ain't I?"
"You're fit but my gosh don't you know it?"
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Name Liam
Age 22
Lives Lanchester, County Durham
Occupation Tree surgeon
Status Single
According to Liam's launch-night VT he is…
A hunky, rugged outdoors type. Liam's backing track is the Arctic Monkeys and he's shown wearing a cricket strip, climbing trees and saying stuff like "I'm always on the prowl for ladies, like, me" with all the slack-jawed charisma of one of those men you see on sports shows who mystifyingly go on to win BBC Sports Personality of the Year.
First impressions
Man most likely to end up as eye candy on a channel Five garden makeover show. Liam seems like a normal, boy-next-door type that you could meet staggering happily about any town centre in Britain on a Saturday night. He's very normal. There's no place for his sort in there.
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