BLOGS
Monty Halls' Great Escape
- Posted at 5:30pm
- 05 March 2009
- by AlisonGraham-RT
Maybe it's the approach of spring, but there's definitely something in the air, because everyone seems to be getting a bit frisky. Just look at the saucy on-screen trails for Mistresses and Holby City, all red satin, bondage, whips and black leather. Crikey! Whatever next, Dorcas the insufferable Lark Rise to Candleford postmistress in a gimp mask?
This skittishness is infectious, because how else can I explain my new crush: Jeremy Paxman, writer and presenter of the terrific social history series The Victorians (Sunday BBC2). Where were...
Mad Men - why quality is better than quantity
- Posted at 4:19pm
- 02 March 2009
- by AlisonGraham-RT
I have some sympathy with a recent exasperated RT correspondent who bemoaned the ubiquity of critical plaudits for Mad Men (starring Jon Hamm, below), a series that hasn't exactly taken a flaming torch to the ratings. Not that any of us expected it to: I realised long ago that the number of people (and we are not all journalists) who watch Mad Men could comfortably be fitted into an average-sized garden shed while still leaving room for the lawn mower and the paraffin heater.
Yes, there are few things quite as irritating as people banging...
MasterChef final
- Posted at 12:25pm
- 27 February 2009
- by AlisonGraham-RT
Part of me is glad that MasterChef is over, largely because I fear for the sanity of Gregg Wallace and John Torode. I worried that if they had to make any more strenuous efforts to mine their near-bankrupt seam of hyperbole, they would both implode and shower us all with dust.
The MasterChef grand final (Thursday 26 February, BBC2) was a torrid and shouty affair, and it wasn't the contestants who were getting het up. They were, in fact, remarkably calm compared to the combustible presenters. At one point I thought the...
Jeremy Paxman
- Posted at 5:35pm
- 19 February 2009
- by AlisonGraham-RT
I have a very low tolerance threshold when it comes to middle-aged men telling me things in television documentary series (hello David Dimbleby, Jonathan Dimbleby, Peter Snow, Dan Cruickshank, Simon Schama, Tony Robinson). Or, even worse, middle-aged men drinking too much then trying to tell me things (Oz and James Drink to Britain, the most singularly infuriating and pointless series currently on television, a homage to masculine self-indulgence).
Where are the women? We are seriously under-represented when it comes to the clever stuff (though the Oz and James farrago isn't clever, obviously). On second thoughts, maybe this...
Mistresses
- Posted at 4:13pm
- 12 February 2009
- by AlisonGraham-RT
Calling a TV series a "guilty pleasure" is a bit of a cop-out, because it's just a snooty way of saying "I'm far too clever and well-educated to enjoy this, but I do enjoy it, only in my own witty and ironic postmodern sort of way."
But I'll come clean and admit that though Mistresses (which starts on BBC1 on Tuesday 17 February, and you will doubtless have seen the sexy trailers) is complete nonsense, I actually adore it not only because it's complete nonsense, but also because it's sumptuously lovely, completely enthralling complete nonsense. Simple as...
Enforced day off
- Posted at 5:10pm
- 05 February 2009
- by AlisonGraham-RT
Apparently, one in five of us couldn't get to work after the British public transport system wrapped itself in a duvet and went back to bed the day that the snow came (Monday 2 February, in case you've already forgotten).
So, how nice, a totally unexpected, extra day off; how luxurious and just a little bit naughty. I did the snowy thing - I went for a walk, very pretty, ah, look at the trees, it's like a Christmas card, I feel like a kid again, I wish I had a pair of wellies, etc, etc - but...
Whitechapel
- Posted at 4:40pm
- 29 January 2009
- by AlisonGraham-RT
I have a very reliable barometer of my own feelings towards TV shows - and this is probably common to professional television reviewers around the globe; if I like something, I can't wait for early delivery of the next instalment on preview DVD.
This is a luxurious way of watching telly, I'm quite aware of that, and I'm similarly aware that I'm very lucky in that I watch everything weeks before everyone else and I don't have to wait a week at a time for my favourites to come around on "proper telly" (unless I wish to, but...
Relocation, Relocation
- Posted at 3:45pm
- 22 January 2009
- by AlisonGraham-RT
I used to like Relocation, Relocation, but it's now reduced me to a gibbering ninny, leaving me whimpering on my sofa or screaming with my fingers in my ears.
This is nothing to do with presenters Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer, who I think are admirable and who obviously know their stuff - it's the property hunters themselves.
The recent first episode of the new series was a corker. I've blotted out most of the details, I think due to mental self-preservation (see first paragraph), but I do recall that it featured a spectacularly annoying...
Trial & Retribution
- Posted at 5:20pm
- 15 January 2009
- by AlisonGraham-RT
After watching Trial & Retribution (Fridays, 9:00pm, ITV1), I always feel that the world has become a little bit worse. There's no specific reason, it's just that T & R's world-view is so relentlessly bleak that it leaches into anyone who happens to be watching, inevitably colouring their outlook on life.
Thanks to this osmotic process, by the end of any given episode I feel washed out and miserable, and my already tottering faith in my fellow men and women is even more roundly dented.
Everyone in Trial & Retribution is horrible, particularly the...
Demons
- Posted at 2:50pm
- 08 January 2009
- by AlisonGraham-RT
I tried very hard to think of Demons as enjoyable hokum. It's not aimed at me, I thought, because I am not 13 and I don't believe monsters exist in suburban London, or suburban anywhere for that matter.
Well, I've given up, in the face of overwhelming evidence that Demons simply isn't very good. I could just about go along with its premise - a middle-aged demon-hunter seeks out his godson, who is the last of the Van Helsing clan of vampire-killers - if only it was well-written and even scary.
But it isn't. The thrills...
Waterloo Road/Above Suspicion
- Posted at 12:40pm
- 02 January 2009
- by AlisonGraham-RT
It's that time of year again, when the Worshipful Order of TV Editors holds its annual coach outing to Malham Tarn, a delightful part of the world, dear readers, and beloved destination of many a geography O-level school field trip during my feckless youth.
We have a high old time, acting out scenes from our favourite series among the glories of the Yorkshire Dales, and I'm in charge of this bit of the agenda this year, so we will be re-creating key moments from Bonekickers. The choice is bountiful, but I might get us all to pretend...
Apparitions
- Posted at 1:22pm
- 19 December 2008
- by AlisonGraham-RT
I wasn't sure at first, but I rather grew to like Apparitions (previously Thursdays, BBC1). Yes, it was as daft as a whole cupboard full of brushes. But it had the courage of its convictions and obviously believed in itself.
In case you missed it – and you probably did, viewing figures were pretty poor – Apparitions featured Martin Shaw as an exorcist priest, Father Jacob, whose faith was tested every week by demons. Yes, yes, I know it sounds silly and I suppose it was preposterous, but it had its moments, some of them unnecessarily gory...
Wallander
- Posted at 3:50pm
- 09 December 2008
- by AlisonGraham-RT
The time has come and I can't put it off any longer. I have to go Christmas shopping with dour Swedish detective Kurt Wallander…
The brightly lit shopping mall is alive with coloured lights. A children's choir is singing and someone is handing out free mince pies.
Wallander stands still, and stares into space. I look at him: "Kurt, you'd feel better if you had a shave. Why are you always so scruffy?"
He doesn't look at me as he replies. "Shave? What is the point of shaving because I will die. You will...
Spooks
- Posted at 5:10pm
- 04 December 2008
- by AlisonGraham-RT
Phew! Spooks, eh? Blimey. Wasn't episode seven (Monday 1 December, BBC1) a corker? In fact, hasn't this been the best ever series? I've always been a fan, but suddenly Spooks seems to have grown up into a beautifully polished, clever, adult drama that's just so flipping exciting.
We're not terribly good at TV thrillers here, a genre that's historically been the province of the Americans. I feel this is due to British TV's tiresome pursuit of "characterisation" at the expense of story and plot.
We always have to have a "message" too - just look at...
Survivors
- Posted at 5:20pm
- 02 December 2008
- by AlisonGraham-RT
The disparate group of men and women emerged, blinking, into the light. Though their surroundings were familiar, something had changed. An older woman spoke first.
"We must stick together, because we're the only surviving stereotypes in prime-time television drama. Just look around you. It's all reality shows, costume dramas, spy thrillers and a damaged Swedish detective who doesn't shave. We're the only predictable TV archetypes left on the planet."
Everyone paused. Just what had happened? How could it have come to this? The older woman spoke again. "We are the survivors and it is up...
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