Radio Times

I can't be doing with film festivals. I admire those intrepid critics who spend their entire year with a complimentary bag slung over their shoulder, traipsing from screening to screening in the far-flung likes of Telluride, Haugesund or Karlovy Vary – or indeed the more glamorous likes of Cannes, Venice and Berlin.

Their feet hardly touch the ground, and when they do get home, they must spend days pressing "0" on their phones hoping to be put through to reception. They're welcome to it.

I enjoy the London film festival, of course, but that's probably because it's my local. It runs until the end of October, and was...

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A video-clip countdown of my personal top five 007 film scenes, featuring some acknowledged classics along with some less celebrated gems (plus Alan Partridge's take on the opening scenes of "the best film ever made"). And if you detect a slight bias towards the wooden suavity of Roger Moore, well, what can I say - nobody does it better.

5. You Only Live Twice

A rooftop: Sean Connery takes on all comers, darting and slugging his way through a gaggle of miniature henchmen like a powered-up character in a retro computer game. The jaunty brass rendition of the theme from You Only Live Twice...

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Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. The much-loved franchise that started out as Big Cat Diary in 1996 and later became Big Cat Week had a dubious upgrade this year to Big Cat Live (5-10 October BBC1), coming to us nightly from a camp in Kenya's Masai Mara game reserve.

So this was essentially Autumnwatch in Africa. On presenting duties, Simon King got boyishly excited every time we saw live night-time footage. "This is live, ladies and gentlemen, let me assure you: this is happening as I speak!" he'd say, as if historic events were unfolding, as if we were witnessing the...

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Can you hear that sound? It's the final nails being hammered into the coffin of Little Britain with the truly dismal Little Britain USA.

It's pitiful stuff, something I say more in sorrow than in anger (though I am a little bit angry). I've loved Little Britain since it began life on Radio 4 and the first BBC TV series remains one of my all-time comedy favourites, a treasure-trove of fantastic characters and some brilliant catchphrases. So thank you, Matt Lucas and David Walliams.

But it's instructive to look at the progression of Little Britain since that first series. Succeeding Little Britains became increasingly...

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Daniel Craig is out of action after exacerbating a shoulder injury during the filming of the new James Bond movie Quantum of Solace (released 31 October and the subject of this week's South Bank Show).

Having undergone surgery, Craig is under doctor's orders to take a long break from work. "The cartilage and sinew have to mend properly," says Craig, "which is apparently going to take about six months. It'll be a while before I can hang off the side of a train again …"

So how does he feel about the enforced break, and what are his plans for filling his time? "I'm...

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I don't hate Adam Sandler. That's too strong a word.

I reserve my hate for murderous totalitarian regimes and people who talk in the gym.

But I think it's accurate to say that I can't stand Adam Sandler. His presence in a film is enough to send me running for the hills with my fist rammed into my mouth.

Needless to say, I won't be making an appointment to view Spanglish this week, despite the fact that it was directed by James L Brooks (Broadcast News, The Simpsons Movie) and that it's the film in which Sandler supposedly tones down his second-hand Jerry Lewis antics.

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I'll start this week's column with an admission - there's a strong chance I missed quite a bit of Twiggy's Frock Exchange (Tuesday 7 October, 8:00pm, BBC2) because I had my fingers in my ears AND my hands over my eyes.

It was a painful and excruciating hour of witlessness that made me embarrassed for womankind. I wouldn't blame a single man watching for thinking that we are all squealing ninnies who would lop off an ear lobe for a chance to own a Matthew Williamson dress.

Mr Williamson himself actually appeared on the show, during a little filmed insert conducted by a gushing Twiggy…but more...

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It won't be long before BBC business editor Robert Peston's appearances on the ten o'clock news are heralded by muffled bells as Huw Edwards reads WH Auden's Stop All the Clocks in his most sonorous voice.

Peston has become a cult figure, the black-bordered, credit-crunch pin-up, with his own blog and hefty profiles in posh newspapers. His worried little face should be featured in a special-edition print of Edvard Munch's The Scream, that icon of silent despair - now there's a tea-towel design I'd love to own.

Peston is terrifying because he's so closely identified with a single story, the collapse of the world...

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It's said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and if that's the case then the makers of The Apprentice have some very genuine fans in the people behind ITV1's Natural Born Sellers. To call Natural Born Sellers a cheap knock-off would be accurate, but it would also be doing the show an injustice. See, while The Apprentice has a bigger budget, better production values and Nick and Margaret, Natural Born Sellers has something extra: heart.

Initially, I wasn't too hopeful. Gone is the lavish pseudo-film stock of the Beeb's version. Gone is the fancy house in Chelsea, in favour of Alan Partridge's Travel Tavern....

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Pinky and Perky make a comeback

Pinky and Perky are the latest classic children's characters to get a 21st-century makeover - a new Pinky & Perky Show comes to CBBC and BBC1 next month. The high-pitched pigs have come a long way since the 50s - now they're computer-animated. The stories have a modern twist, too. P&P still appear on PPC TV, but now have to deal with nasty executives who want to cancel their show. Let's hope it doesn't end up being a case of life imitating art…

Dougray Scott heads home

Scottish star Dougray Scott, most recently seen as Susan's...

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Comfortably ensconced in the front seat of a London black cab, Stephen Fry has been on an epic tour of all 50 states of the USA, for his new series Stephen Fry in America (starts Sunday 12 October, BBC1). But as well as revealing the many and varied wonders of the United States, the trip has made Fry ashamed of his own countrymen. We asked him why.

"We British like to believe that Americans are ignorant, irony-free and vulgar. I found no more evidence of that than I find of the Dutch, the Italians, the Danes, the Russians, the Australians and - most certainly -...

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It's so tempting to go for something unintentionally funny when picking the definitive spectacle from Blue Peter's first 50 years. Contenders could have included:

The horrified look on Mark Curry's face when he separated a giant Lego man's head from its body, wrecking in seconds what must have been months of work.

An apoplectic Percy Thrower describing the vandals who wrecked the BP garden in 1983 as "mentally ill" live on television.

A studio full of Girl Guides and Brownies resolutely keeping their posts around a campfire that's steadily growing into an inferno in the 1970 Christmas edition.

Mark Curry - for it is him...

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Prince Charles is known for his love of comedy, notably The Goon Show. But he's excelled himself with the names he's attracted to his 60th-birthday comedy spectacular, We Are Not Amused.

Taking place in aid of the Prince's Trust on 12 November and showing on ITV1 soon after, the show features John Cleese, Rowan Atkinson (on Gold this Thursday in Blackadder Exclusive: the Whole Rotten Saga) and Robin Williams, all performing live on stage.

Cleese hasn't performed live for two years (in a tour of New Zealand) but promises something special here. Atkinson's one-man sketch will be his first live comedy since 1991....

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Sorry, Heroes fans, but I'm going to have a go at your precious great lump of a series. Prepare to shed inky-black tears. Prepare to write in to leap to its defence and tell me I don't understand, that I've missed the point. Only don't bother. You're right - I don't.

Throwing a rotten tomato at Heroes (Wednesdays BBC2) is, of course, hopeless: the show will just freeze time, step aside, grab the tomato out of the air and stuff it down my trousers before I can blink. That's more or less what happened in the first scene of the new series, only with a bullet....

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Now pay attention!

With the terrestrial premiere of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire upon us, in which the 14-year-old wizard is mysteriously entered in the 17s-and-over Triwizard Tournament, I think it's worth considering the problematic age difference between Harry in the multi-million-selling books and how he's perceived in the films.

There are seven Harry Potter books, each one representing a year in the young wizard's life at Hogwarts School.

He is 11 when the first book, The Philosopher's Stone, whisks him for the first time to the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, there to begin his epic quest against the evil Voldemort. He is 12...

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