Radio Times

John and Edward are saving The X Factor. Simon Cowell put them through at Lucie's expense because they're the act we look forward to - if they win they may destroy Western culture altogether, but as everyone else this week was pure tedium, it's worth the risk.

The lack of costumes and dancers for the twins' Sunday eliminator song merely highlighted the comedy genius of their broken-puppet dancing, missed high-fives and the awesome moment where the one on the left leapt into the crowd, only for the song to end three seconds later. You can't teach this stuff.

Lucie, who stood there and sang with the unsettling fixed smirk of a murderer, deserved to go. But what does Tiny Lloyd have to do to be voted off? Possibly his fans are so young that their ears can't yet distinguish between tones - it's the parents' fault for casting premium-rate votes based on the gummy approval of preschoolers.

Alternatively, perhaps the public consider Tiny Lloyd's ability to sing an entire melody out of tune to be a special talent, like Les Dawson's piano-playing or Stanley Unwin's gobbledegook. Not getting any notes right does defy the law of averages. Still, the public are wrong: there's nothing impressive about sounding like a cow stuck in a well.

Danyl wore his poppy not on his lapel but on his hip, where from some angles it was briefly invisible. This, on top of being a mixed-race bisexual, must now make him the Daily Mail's least favourite act, so I may start voting for him on principle, although his vaguely malevolent intensity is getting dull.

Also lucky to avoid the sing-off was Jamie, who began Roy Orbison's Crying in a weak, nervy shiver. The parts of Simon's face that can move rushed towards his nose in alarm. The galumphing chorus was worse: Jamie came across as less a mournful ex-lover, more a man screaming because he's about to be hit by a train.

At this point, with the show in crisis (Stacey had been competent, and Olly's horrible cheese was less fun than watching him on Deal or No Deal), Louis Walsh stepped up and set about being graceless and fishwifely.

As the only person in the country who cared about it being movie week, Louis thought Jamie was cheating because Crying featured in Gummo. "I've never heard of the movie!" Louis shouted. Simon pointed out that this wasn't relevant. Louis was ready with his comeback: "I've never heard of the movie!" It was a nonsense-blast to match last week's "I meet kids everywhere!"

Louis saved his best for Dermot O'Leary. Following an innocuous question about Joe's offensively innocuous Circle of Life, Louis gabbled: "I'm a judge! You're a presenter! I'm a judge! You're a presenter!", chewing on his own mouth like Nana Royle.

The barely concealed hatred between Dermot and Louis needs to be explored. At the moment, all distractions from the singing are welcome.

Lucie may not have won but she certainly deserved to stay longer, Lloyd and the twits are undoubtedly the weakest singers. The public vote only determines the bottom two at this stage and the judge with the casting vote (Simon) really should keep the best act - but he cheated Lucie out of her place.

He said he would base his decision on that particular performance....but then said "who would I like to see next week". So in essence, he actually based his decision on a performance he hadn't seen yet!

Finally, I like to ask what the problem is with Joe singing showtunes, I mean Circle of Life was a massive chart hit for Sir Elton John - can't get much better than that, surely!

I like Jedward, but I let everyone else save them each week. I watch them on youtube so that Mr Cowell doesn't get more views from my TV. I already knew the X factor was to get him money, the anger over Jedward means that it has finally been realisied elsewhere

Oh what a lot of grumblers you are - I agree with Candida - please lighten up! The show is one good laugh -never a dull moment! Anyone who says that they will stop watching the show, is probably fibbing - you can't possibly not want to know what happens this Saturday, and who eventually wins - great stuff!

For me the most promising artist has always been young Joe - whatever happens he should go far - he has it all.

Anyway Mr Cowell and Co, please keep entertaining us - week-ends wouldn't be right without you!!

"This is inappropiate, disrespectful, fake patriotism ....."

You mean unlike that really genuine patriotism where everyone who appears on a TV show seems forced to wear one just so that the channel looks caring and compassionate?

Yeah, that's the sort of patriotism this country needs!

I am incensed at the variety of distasteful ways members of the X-Factor have been wearing the poppy. It ought to be displayed in a polite and dignified manner as a symbolic tribute of reverence and gratitude for the fallen heros. It shouldn't be sported like a fashion accessory as a bracelet, in the hair or on the lower hip. This is inappropiate, disrespectful, fake patriotism and everything doesn't have to be a fashion contest.

Don't know why Jackseale watches the X factor seeing as none of the contestants come up to scratch. mind you I do agree with some of his comments!!. Back to the issue here, the point seems to be missed. My opinion based on previous shows and results suggests to me that Mr Cowell does not want another female to win Xfactor, however talented.With Misses Lewis and Burke who needs another great female voice??. His dream money maker would be another Will Young and what's the betting he has already lined up one of his "boys" for the post. Stacey is the only female left, so who is the next target??.Anyone who believes that the voting results are a true indication of how the public are really voting, should do a survey and see how many people tried to vote for both Rachael and Lucy and could not get through. Has everyone forgotten about the past Hoo Har on competition vote rigging??.Mind if I am wrong that would be totally terrifying the people who vote for The Dublin Duo will actuaaly have a vote in the next election!!. The answer is simple everone keep their phones switched off and DO NOT VOTE,and do not watch tape it if you must but that won't count in the ratings.

At the end of the day, Simon owns the show, he was the creator of the X factor so he ultimately employs Louis, Cheryl and Dani. When he made the decision for it to go to the public vote (whether he had been told what the outcome was or not), both Lucie and Jedward would have benefitted his show had they survived. I also think Simon has actually come to like the lads because they pull in the viewers, meaning 'kerching' for Simon and his somewhat rebellious reputation, which we all know he loves. Anyway, the bottom line is, well done Simon, you stick to your guns mate, he's just doing his job and he will continue to do whatever is going to make him the most money. Too right I say, isn't that what we'd all do?! Besides, Lucie has a good enough voice and is good looking enough to make it without the questionable helping hand of Dani and the X factor along the way.

Am I the only one who noticed the Dreadful Duo weren't actually singing the sing-off song? Have a look at the replay... So, it's a fix. But then all commercial TV is only about selling advertising, not about moral or ethical behaviour. So, like newspapers we get the stuff we deserve. :-)

Vote with your feet folks - boycott the programme.... No one makes you watch it? No votes - no show - no Cowell

X-Factor has just hit the bottom and we will not be watching this programme again

Simon clearly got rid of Lucie as she is far more of a threat to his acts than Jedward. I have generally had respect for simon even if I didn't agree with his comments but not any more. Jamie afro is a one trick pony and simon has cheated and manipulated the song choices because he knows that Jamie isn't versatile. The bottom line is that this is a singing competition not a variety show. Jedward are a pair of irritating talentless eejits. I wont be watching anymore as the acts that had voices worth listening to are being kicked out in favour of vocally challenged teenaged boys. Big load of B******s

The X-Farce-tor programme has lost any credibility it may have had.

It was becoming impossible to determine the point of the programme - each week the judges would pronounce upon "what this programme is all about". Simon Cowell explained to Louis, after he complained about one act not dancing enough, that it was a "singing competition". Last week Louis - defending his dopey duo from Dublin - said that "fun" was the purpose of the show. If that's the case, then why not have comedians on the programme - although some may unkindly append that to John & Edward.

It cannot be a singing competition, else why would Rachel and Lucie be out already while the aforementioned J&E, and the weak-voiced Lloyd still be in the programme?

If a million teenage girls find 16-year old Lloyd attractive and want to see him every week - despite his inability to project his voice or hit the right note - or a million girls find the sight of two 17-year old identical twins from Dublin bouncing up and down each week, while singing worse than Lloyd, then a mere half a million viewers who recognise a true singing talent are going to be disappointed when the votes are announced.

No, the whole reason for the programme is a long drawn-out way of making more millions for Simon Cowell. And anyone who pays to vote for the stooges in this programme, thinking that talent will win out, has only themselves to blame for their ultimate disappointment.

Most people seem to be missing the fact that Simon didn't keep John and Edward in. Yes he had the opportunity to keep Lucie in and should have but at the end of the day it went to the public vote. More people voted for John and Edward so the public have themselves to blame.

Lucie was one of the best singers but I don't think she as a strong enough personality when up against some of the other contestants on the show.

For goodness sake people - lighten up! If you don't like the X Factor, don't watch it. Nobody is forcing you to watch or vote. I think the whole thing is hilarious and I watch it with my kids every week. We think Tiny Lloyd is rubbish and Jedward are funny. As for Stacy - we can't understand a word she says but she's adorable! We try and guess what Simon will say, decide whether Dannii or Cheryl is wearing the better outfit and have a go at dancing like Olly. Harmless family entertainment. Love the blog, by the way.

Tiny Lloyd-brilliant! What is he still doing there?! At least Jedward are entertaining with their ridiculous dancing, singing, hair and improvised, "Hey John!" "What's that Edward?" bits. Still a bit of a shocker to see Lucie go back to her little village in Wales etc etc, though.

Hilarious as always-keep up the excellent blogging!

I think its ridiculous that Lucie as with Rachel, was even at the bottom let alone voted out of the show over the soulless out of tune Lloyd. At least Jedward are entertaining. It's clear to see that this a ploy by Simon to increase rating and make money. By keeping Jedward on the show, he can keep the ratings high, which were falling during the first few weeks (due to change in show format). Jedward get the underdog/sympathy vote (British public loves the underdog) and people are eager to see if Simon will be willing to give them a contract if they win. He is using them and when the show comes to the final, he will get rid of them. There is also the fact that his to most successful winners Leona and Alex are female so he his keen to have a male winner so there will be no competition with his girls! Notice Stacey is the only female left and that is be cause of her popularity with the public as well as her great voice. How long will she last?? If this show turns out to be a shambles, there isn't much hope for the next series, or maybe that's what Simon wants so he can concentrate on his American ventures. I don't think anyone else will top Leona's success!!

Lucie was a beautiful singer. How could Simon Cowell bypass her for those two lads? He is not playing the game!

Lucie should have stayed! she was properly fit! and she was a good singer!! jedward....well heroes

I think the show is know begining to get rediculus. the two acts sent home this week and last were fantastic. it is nolonger about talent, but how much entertainment or how much publicity you bring to the show. No disrespect to Jedward but they are auful. What we should do as the general public is to boycot the show. cause its now getting stupid.

I was so disappointed by Simon's decision and will never watch the X factor again. This is a singing competition or at least it was supposed to be.

To stop the judges manipulating the public, they should lock their votes into a computer BEFORE they hear how their colleagues have voted. That way it would be fairer for all concerned. Or simply stop the judges vote, if they aren't man enough to make a choice. Let the public decide every week, without the drama.

I won't be following this drivel anymore.

I think that Simon is manipulating the public... so we shouldn't let him. There is no reason for the twins to be in there other than it makes ££s for Cowell! Didn't he say it was a singing competition? Don't let him win - boycott all his artists and don't vote on X-factor.

Simon Cowell is just one contradiction after another. First he says he'll leave the country if Jedward win, then he saves them instead of a genuinly good singer. First he says he'll send home Lucie or Jedward based on their final performance, then he sends Jedward through.

Saying that Jedward are more entertaining defeats the object of the programme, as any two people in the country could pair together and make complete fools of themselves as Jedward do, and it would be just as entertaining. Simon has always said it was a singing competition. Obviously not.

simon cowell is an absolute t****r! i will not watch the x factor again!! cowell=too much power.

It was an obvious stitchup. Cowell went to the public vote because he wanted to keep the twins in for next week, otherwise Louis has nobody left!!

Simon Cowell is the biggest Hypocrit on the X Factor. I never wanted the twins to win not at lucie's expense she was the better sing by far. Simon was getting rid of the competition because she is better than any of his acts. Shame on you Simon. Go Stacey.

Simon Cowell is guilty of treating the public as fools. Over arrogant and a dangerouos game to play. No more X factor in our house. 'Strictly' for us...at least they are honest.

Having been introduced to your blog by aquaintances who's opinions I respect, I was moved to watch the X factor itself. And now how I respect your work ethic!! You sit through this drivel twice a week for your work? I couldn't sit through one programme without the old eyelids drooping at the sheer tedium of the whole sorry lot of them. Would the programme be improved by having the audience comments drown out the singing? Some sounded quite witty.

Great blog, thanks! I think we should bin the X Factor off, there are alternative ways to hear new music/new musicians! 'The Cliffmas Song', for example, harks back to when the race for the Christmas number one actually meant something. What big bands would bother putting a Christmas song out now?

I am loving this blog. Thanks.

Show Cowell the door, do not watch, do not vote, do not be manipulated any longer. This man is a fool.

XFactor will never again be on our TV. Hypocritical self endulgent self promoting drivel.....and thats just a judge (in any other name producer-owner-me me me-I can treat the viewing audiance as fools)

"The parts of Simon's face that can move rushed towards his nose in alarm." Comedy genius! Any chance that I can hire you to come and write for me? You know, just when I get a little down, and need perking up. There won't be any pay, but you could sleep at night knowing that you have performed a good deed.

Surely, if there were any doubts over X Factor being about the viewing figures (and thus money) and not about the acts, this week put those doubts to bed?

The twins keep people talking about the show, Lucie does not. However, nobody could reasonably argue that they are more talented than her in terms of singing. I would personally have classed her as one of the two best singers in the entire line-up.

Now, who do I pay to get rid of Jamie "I'll even turn a lullaby into a rock song" Archer?