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The week in soapland

Carla (Alison King) and Tony (Gray O'Brien) in Coronation Street
  • Posted at 12:03pm
  • 15 October 2009
  • by GarethMcLean-RT

Coronation Street

The problem with issuing an ultimatum is that you have to be prepared for whoever you threaten to jump the other way, so to speak. Carla might like to consider this.

After she threatens to reveal Tony Gordon's murderous ways to Maria unless he skips Weatherfield, Tony is so reluctant to capitulate that he plans instead to have Carla killed by the ever-obliging Jimmy. Just as baby Liam is being blessed, too. Welcome to the world, little man!

Elsewhere, Luke plots to scarper with Rosie's fortune - highlighting the problem of a fool and their money. And it's Molly's birthday. No prizes for guessing what Kevin wants to give her as a present.

Emmerdale

This week's debauched dealings in the degenerate Dales are brought to you by the maxim that perseverance pays dividends. Possibly.

To wit, Nathan's slow seduction at last ensnares Leyla, while Faye's patient pursuit of Mark finally bears fruit - though why she should bother with such a liar and a lunk, who can say? (What we can safely say is that no-one is playing a longer game than sneaky Sally.)

Meanwhile, Charity must decide what she prizes most: Debbie, dough or - saints preserve us - Cain.

EastEnders

As others occupy themselves with matchmaking (Jay) and drug dealing (Shirley), birthdays (Tamwar) and birth days (Heather's baby - who's the daddy?), Archie and Janine scheme to whip the Vic from under the Mitchells. Like Bond baddies on a budget, all they're missing are swirling black capes and twirling moustaches (although in certain lights, Janine has a shadow of the latter, but that's nothing a visit to Booty couldn't rectify).

Sensing Sam is the Mitchell soft spot, the pair prepare a pincer movement, but will their prey evade capture? And can the conniving conspirators keep their claws out of each other?

The Archers

by Alison Graham

Matt Crawford must not go to prison. Not because it will be a debilitating and humiliating punishment, but because the thought of Lilian sobbing every week for the next ten years about her "Tiger" is too much to bear.

She's fretting this week because Matt is feeling the strain of his forthcoming fraud trial. Matt refuses to accept his solicitor Russell's assurances that there will be no surprises from the prosecution. But Matt doesn't sound sure. What has he really been up to?

Peggy has problems too - Jack needs to go into a nursing home and it looks like the village shop (which she owns) is on shaky financial ground. Naturally, that tiresome guardian of the till, Susan Carter, snaps into action and, thinking only of herself, presses a preoccupied Peggy for information.

But as all Susan ever does is tell people where to find the biscuits or moan when she runs out of organic ice cream, couldn't a trained parrot be brought in to do the job for free? The conversation would be better.

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