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The week in soapland

Danielle Westbrook as Sam Mitchell in EastEnders
  • Posted at 4:50pm
  • 04 September 2009
  • by GarethMcLean-RT
  • 1 comment

EastEnders

Bad penny alert! Sam Mitchell, is that you? (No really, is that you? You look, er, different. And yet oddly familiar.)

Last seen hotfooting it to Brazil after helping to dispose of dead Dirty Den, Sam seemingly has had enough sun, sand and caipirinhas and can resist no longer the allure of Walford, a warm white wine in the Vic and, ahem, Ricky. No, I have no idea why either.

And neither do an anxious Phil and Peggy - nor a highly put-out Bianca, who has a face like thunder. Little wonder, as she was just about to declare her undying love for her (and, indeed, Sam's) ex. Don't you hate it when that happens? In fact, so fed up is Bianca that you really couldn't blame her if she tipped off E20's CID to the return of a wanted criminal…

Meanwhile, Lucas is confronted with a dilemma that is yet to come up on Gardeners' Question Time - what's the best course of action when you've accidentally killed your drug-addled ex by pushing her onto a rake? Well? Cat got your tongue, Bunny Guinness?

Coronation Street

Not-quite-so-bad penny alert! As the Barlows endure a death - which Simon takes especially badly - Leanne returns. At least Peter will be pleased. Perhaps.

Also returning, and just in time for Becky's trial, is Slug. Cornered by Steve, the grim criminal will either rain on Hooch's parade or lead the procession. Either way, someone will have the bunting out. Elsewhere, Jason enters the Mr Gay Weatherfield contest. (No, Norris is not defending champion.)

Emmerdale

Because her taste in men so far has been impeccable, Faye seems to imagine she has nothing to lose by becoming involved with Cain. Little does she know.

Of course, Faye's not the only woman in the village with suspect taste in men: Debbie seems determined to keep seeing Michael, while Chas is asking for trouble with a begging bowl as, after her one-night stand with Carl, she seeks to keep her betrayal from Paddy.

And, on the day of the cricket match, Laurel is, naturally, knocked for six.

Hollyoaks

If, as Tolstoy says, happy families are all alike while every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, thank heavens for variety. For while Jack and Frankie's anniversary means food for thought for Darren, the Roys still reel by Ravi's bedside.

You'd think that Ravi's state, lingering by death's door unsure whether to knock the knocker or try the bell, would be sufficient woe. But Ash, author of much of their misfortune, has yet another misery missile in his arsenal and launches it at Anita, revealing a shocking secret. Devastation duly occurs, not least for Leila. Ravi might do well staying longer in that coma of his.

And he's not the only one who could do with some peace, as Calvin is harassed by Cheryl, Loretta irks Nancy, and Rhys suspects Hayley of carrying on behind his back. Which, of course, she is.

The Archers

by Alison Graham

It's Matt's day of reckoning as he's at long last charged with a multi-million-pound fraud. Which is bad enough in itself, then Matt has to go and ask his solicitor about what he might have to face up to in prison. Oh Matt, it will be like that horrible film Scum. Don't go into the greenhouse!

Unsurprisingly, Matt gets drunk in the Grey Gables bar, though an old friend comes to his aid. Which is nice.

There's considerable potential for some painful social embarrassment of the type that is so prevalent in Ambridge, where class distinctions are clearly marked and ruthlessly observed, when Lynda and Robert have Vicky and Mike over for dinner at Ambridge Hall.

Vicky is fine, as she has all the social sensitivity of a runaway lorry and carries on regardless, but Mike, who over the years has come to resemble a peasant dad in a Thomas Hardy novel, is uncomfortable.

Mike is a man who Knows His Place in the village hierarchy, who doesn't so much tug his forelock but pull it out by its roots. He doesn't actually offer to go and eat dinner with his cows, but it's still a difficult evening.

It's a busy week for Lynda, as she also gets uppity with Appalling Adam who wants to extend his flaming polytunnels and destroy a footpath. Go get him, Lynda!

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Comments

  • Posted on 06 September 2009
  • at 1:53pm
  • by norma

I love Gareths reviews, sometimes enjoy them more that the soaps! His style has encouraged myself and friends to swop entertaining soap 'catch ups'

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