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The X Factor: week two

X Factor judges Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole, Dannii Minogue and Louis Walsh
  • Posted at 9:22pm
  • 30 August 2009
  • by JackSeale-RT
  • 4 comments

So, the formula so far is to save the obvious finalist for last. This week, it was Jamie Archer, a 33-year-old dreamer whose afro was so overgrown, it had gone past cool and was now just a bit floppy and forlorn - a sign of how long he's been plugging away in small clubs.

Suddenly finding himself playing the O2 Arena, Jamie attacked Kings of Leon's Sex on Fire like a showbizzy grizzly. He was a poor man's Danyl Johnson but the judges said he was a good "performer", and even if they hadn't, he'd just done the gig of his life.

Rozelle Phillip also completed her "journey" as soon as the crowd applauded. Hiding humbly behind an ample figure and cheerful jewellery, Rozelle unleashed soul-diva high notes and torch-singer sophistication. She was the first contestant ever to giggle and weep in disbelief, like a series winner, halfway through the first audition. But can she top it? Does she want to?

In Birmingham, Alan Walton became a classic X Factor eccentric without even singing. He'd trained himself to start an exact number of seconds into his backing track, but missed his cue. He had another go but missed again and, when he did finally pipe up, the judges told him it was bad. "I see your point," said Alan.

After Alan, all the Brummies offered was a cavalcade of low-level weirdness, climaxing with Simon Heming, who hit every note he attempted during The Carpenters' Top of the World, but was never attempting the right one. "No ambition, no energy," said Simon Cowell afterwards, in a slightly harsh assessment of Birmingham itself.

Last week we saw Simon supposedly react to a furious grandmother, even though she was backstage and he wasn't. This week's blatant fakery was the tumbleweed silence inserted after The Stunners had sung in London - as if 2,500 people would have no reaction to the sort of wildly deluded duo who should be barred from the show for their own good. When The Stunners announced their name, Louis Walsh looked at their sad hair and lazy eyes, and laughed in their faces.

There was also the return of points being awarded for grief. Daryl Markham missed last year's auditions for his brother's wedding, only to lose his brother to cancer. He told the judges his story (we'd already heard it, but only the first, happy half - slick work, editors!) before understandably losing his grip on the melody of I Don't Want to Talk about It. "I believe you meant every word," blubbed Cheryl Cole as The X Factor's surreal counselling service kicked in, giving Daryl a free pass to round two.

If Daryl gets any further, it'll feel unfair on him and the other competitors. But when his nephew ran onto the stage to hug him, the tears washed those objections away.

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Comments

  • Posted on 20 September 2009
  • at 9:09pm
  • by abby

the x-f is funny

  • Posted on 05 September 2009
  • at 5:42pm
  • by Katie

i like waching it i whish i chould sing on the show i be better then all the others lol

  • Posted on 01 September 2009
  • at 1:22pm
  • by MazY

I from Russia. I like show very much. It better than watching snowfall out window. I like it!

  • Posted on 31 August 2009
  • at 6:04am
  • by Minnie

i'm a Chinese. and study English now.

i leason ur show every night!

i like it!

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