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Big Brother: the new arrivals

Big Brother: the new arrivals
  • Posted at 6:00pm
  • 05 June 2009
  • by PaulJones-RT
  • 1 comment

Angel - Angel's eccentric entrance with top hat and cane was reminiscent of a white Grace Jones and, indeed, the Russian boxer and artist also "used to be rock star in my country". She believes that in the future, there will be a war between fit and unfit people. "Hello, crazy people," she said on entering the house. Er, pot, kettle…

Beinazir - Make-up-caked Beinazir would like to find love in the house. She has brought 149 pieces of jewellery to aid her in her quest. Beinazir says she is an Amy Winehouse lookalike which, frankly, is an insult to both of them.

Cairon - London-born, US-bred Cairon is so not gay that he "feels kinda weird even wiping my own ass!" He does like women, though - big women - and himself. If he could invite anyone to a dinner party it would be himself. But who would send the invitation?

Charlie - Former Mr Gay Newcastle Charlie wants to be a pop star and the centre of attention. Join the club, Charlie - it's called Big Brother.

Freddie - Freddie grew up in a stately home, where he still lives with his family and four staff. He apparently fancies himself an anarchist, "a bit of a charmer" and an alpha-male - which goes completely against first impressions of him as a harmless spaced-out toff.

Karly - "In life you have to be a bitch," says Scottish babe Karly. She also gives herself 10 out of 10 for looks. I give her 0 for modesty and 5 for realism.

Kris - Kris is the male totty of the group, and he knows it: "I am clever but I'm better looking than I am intelligent." And better looking than you are modest. On first impressions, it's hard to trust Kris's studied mateyness, and in one night he's already said "All right, babes?" enough times for the entire series. He also let slip that, "I genuinely don't really care too much about anything or anyone." Nice.

Lisa - Butch lesbian punk Lisa is convinced she can convert straight women, which makes her sound the equivalent of the worst kind of man. But behind the tattoos and piercings she actually seems genuine, slightly shy and rather nice.

Marcus - Chubby Wolverine Marcus is a comic-book geek who lives alone with his cat - except, "I'm not a geek because the things I do are f***ing heroic!" And if we're lucky, we'll get to find out exactly what form that heroism takes, week in, week out.

Noirin - "Irish beauty" Noirin was brought up a good Christian and she's clearly held on to those values. "Look at me, I'm beautiful," she says, followed by "I don't give a s**t what people think" and "I wouldn't be faithful if something better came along". She's practically a nun.

Rodrigo - Rodrigo is "really positive, I don't like nothing negative". Brace yourself for some disappointment, my naive little Brazilian friend… This little ray of sunshine says "England is turning me gay". He goes to church every day and would like to have sex with La Toya Jackson. Sweet.

Saffia - Beauty consultant and mother-of-two Saffia claims she "can't see good or nice things in anybody," yet she thinks Phillip Schofield should be knighted. Weird.

Siavash - Siavash is an events organiser, stylist, model - and fantasist. He reckons that if anything cool happens in London he's there. How come I've never seen him out, then? Siavash thinks religion was invented by a businessman. Wow, that's deep, man.

Sophia - It sounded as if hysterical, shrieking Sophia was having some kind of episode on the way in. Much is being made of her diminutive size, but she's not that small. We had Verne Troyer back in January - is 4' 11" supposed to impress us now?

Sophie - Blonde and pretty with massive plastic breasts, Sophie is being put forward as the airhead dolly bird of the group. Her set-up quote for the launch show was "the capital of Uruguay is U". Really? Come on, Sophie, we're waiting for you to prove BB wrong.

Sree - Sree, the international student from India, is a big fan of the Queen and thinks England is the safest place in the world. He's not going to enjoy this, is he?

**

So what did you think of the new arrivals? Who's looking like good value at this stage and who could be a total nightmare? Post a comment below and let us know.

Now check out the rest of our Big Brother content - and look out for our weekly BB round-up, starting next week.

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Comments

  • Posted on 08 June 2009
  • at 11:05am
  • by Hal

Isn't it about time that Channel 4 found something new? BB really feels like it is way past its sell-by date. Making people sleep on the floor and other shenanigans are just a desperate attempt at revamping a tired old format.

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