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The week in soapland

Justin (Chris Fountain) and Hannah (Emma Rigby)
  • Posted at 12:02pm
  • 21 May 2009
  • by GarethMcLean-RT
  • 1 comment

Hollyoaks
With the approach of summer - or, at least, the months when summer used to be - thoughts may turn to catching up with old friends over a barbecue or else to escape, perhaps, to warmer climes. Curiously - and where in Soapland is life curiouser than in Hollyoaks? - these two considerations coincide as Warren, wilting under the pressure of the hate campaign against him, decides to depart. Before he goes, though, he has one last plot to ignite: the razing of the Loft. And, marshmallows at the ready, who better to coerce into setting the inferno than Justin, whose reluctance to do so can be crushed with a threat to the life of his new beloved, Hannah?

However, Warren hasn't counted on the return of a nemesis long thought dead, and one with revenge in mind. Welcome back, Clare. Or, as we may call you from now on, Flaming Nora.

EastEnders

As Syed resists Zainab's attempts to matchmake, Heather and Shirley face down Ian and the Slaters' woes worsen, these are testing times in Walford. But under most pressure are Jay, Dawn and Billy as the trial of Terry - the thug who murdered Jase - comes to court. Guess who's most fretful, even before Terry's wife Viv menaces him in the Vic? And guess who's sworn testimony is pivotal? Who'd be Billy Mitchell, eh?

Almost as uncomfortable is Jack when he uncovers Ronnie's dramatic solution for filling what she sees as their empty lives. Let's put it this way - it isn't a visit to Battersea Dogs Home.

Coronation Street

As Norris swots, desperate to trump Ramsay in the Rovers pub quiz, let's consider questions that quizmaster Lloyd won't be posing, possibly because the answers are obvious…1: How will Sally react when she discovers Fiz is seeing John again? 2: Will Eileen relent and treat Julie with more warmth? 3: Will Tony tolerate Natasha's meddling in his relationship with Maria? 4: Who will Michelle choose, between Luke and Peter?

Actually, the answer to that last one is anyone's guess, so let's make it a tie-breaker.

Emmerdale

Were the marital misery of others not disincentive enough - witness the woes of Laurel and Ashley, Bob and Viv, Zak and Lisa - Mark and Natasha seem intent on renewing their vows. But it's not the Wyldes we need worry about - it's Cain, who's busy digging up Mark's dark secrets, and Faye, who may look porcelain-delicate but is, we suspect, made of some futuristic metal, a bit like a Terminator.

Though that dead look in her eyes may come from mooning after charmless Mark.

The Archers

by Alison Graham

If Tristan and Isolde had eaten sausage sandwiches, then they would have been Tom Archer and Brenda Tucker, Ambridge's tragic lovers. Or maybe not so tragic, as it looks like they might just get back together again. I should be past caring, because listening to the pair of them whining over the noise of their shattering hearts during the past few weeks has been a bit like listening to mice scratching at a carpet. But I do care, at least about Brenda. I feel she could do so much better than Tom. She's been to "uni" you know.

Meanwhile Lilian despairs of an increasingly withdrawn Matt and is forced to confide in Jolene, of all people. Presumably Lilian does not address Jolene's cleavage, unlike the male population of Ambridge.

It's good to know amid this high drama that what passes for normal life continues apace. Brookfield Open Day looms and, best of all, it's the WI flower-arranging contest, which is inevitably more rancorous and bloody than the Battle of the River Plate.

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Comments

  • Posted on 24 May 2009
  • at 1:01pm
  • by kenneth

My wife is addicted to soaps and their repeats.I hate them,watching the type of people I hate,doing hateful things is weird.my wife cannot explain it either.so it must be my fault.

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