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The Apprentice: Week Five

The Apprentice: Week Five
  • Posted at 11:50am
  • 23 April 2009
  • by PaulJones-RT
  • 4 comments

Woah. The last thing you need when you've just been dragged out of bed at 6am is a giant Sir Alan staring down at you, every crease and grizzled hair visible in pin-sharp detail on the London Imax screen. It's enough to make you lose your breakfast. Hmmm… Frosted Chuck-Ups, anyone? Well, it's about as good an idea for a breakfast cereal as Phillip's underpants-based brand…

Until recently, I'd thought Phillip was all right. Yes, he often came across as bolshie and negative, but I put that down to a determination not to suffer bad ideas. Actually, though, a large proportion of the ideas on The Apprentice are bad - and this week Phillip came up with one of the worst ever.

Ignite's breakfast cereal superhero, Pantsman, wears his Y-fronts outside his trousers so you don't have to. Or something. As Nick said, the concept "took logic and tortured it until it screamed". Phillip saw it another way: "Sometimes you've gotta go outside the box if you wanna push a few boundaries." If it wasn't clear before, it's crystal now - Phillip the "bulldozer" is also a bullsh**ter.

Talking of which, Phillip was on the receiving end of some words of wisdom from Sir Alan, who didn't get where he is today by shying away from Cantona-style poetry. "When you soar like an eagle, you attract a hunter," he intoned sagely, "and at the moment I feel like I've got a 12-bore shotgun in my hand!"

But it's not as if Phillip was the only weak link in Ignite's chain of fools. "This is the task I've been waiting for," enthused marketing consultant Kimberly. Well, she might "manage creativity" for a living, but she couldn't manage a complete lack of it. With Lorraine, Mona, Phillip and Nooral under her, PM Kimberly duly went the way of Ignite's unpalatable breakfast cereal - chewed up and spat out by Sir Alan.

Over at Empire, things couldn't have been more different. Smart, decisive and always with a smile on her face, Kate seems a born leader. True, she had all the most capable candidates - but she also had Ben and she managed to keep him quiet (stuffing him into a giant parrot suit was a stroke of genius). After solid performances in earlier tasks and, now, a fantastic turn as project manager, Kate is looking like a front runner.

James is up there for me, too. His enthusiasm is infectious and I loved how excited he was to hear his hummed tune transformed into a salty sea shanty. It says a lot about its effectiveness as an advertising jingle that it's still circumnavigating my brain this morning. All together now, "A bowl of this a pirate makes, so get yourself some Treasure Flakes!" Repeat - ad infinitum.

**

Did the right candidate go this week? Who's looking good to you? Post a comment below and tell us what you think.

And don't forget to check out the rest of our Apprentice content.

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Comments

  • Posted on 24 April 2009
  • at 10:38am
  • by PaulJones-RT

Hi Lauren

You can see this episode again tomorrow (Saturday 25 April) at 10:40pm on BBC2, or you could watch it on BBC iPlayer.

You probably know this, but up until now they've been repeating it at 7pm the following Thursday on BBC2. I think the snooker must have knocked it out (get your priorities right BBC!).

Thanks

Paul

PS Thanks for the compliment Iggy but I think I'll stick to taking pot shots from the sidelines…

  • Posted on 24 April 2009
  • at 6:54am
  • by Harrylad

Can't wait for Ben and Phillip to go. The best laugh for me this week was the ad agency man telling Phillip (an estate agent) thet they actually sell things!

  • Posted on 23 April 2009
  • at 8:08pm
  • by Lauren

when is this repeated?

  • Posted on 23 April 2009
  • at 6:25pm
  • by Iggy

I think you should be on it. I think you'd be good.

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