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The Apprentice: Week Two

Rocky Andrews from The Apprentice
  • Posted at 11:11am
  • 02 April 2009
  • by PaulJones-RT
  • 4 comments

Girls against boys. Yasmina versus Rocky. A big-shot restaurateur toe-to-toe with a humble sandwich shop owner. Was Rocky's story destined to be that of the underdog taking a shot at glory and, against all the odds, winning through?

No. He got fired. It's The Apprentice, stupid. It's ruthless, not romantic.

The task: cater for some meetings and posh drinks bashes for "City high-fliers". Of course, you can't simply serve food in The Apprentice; there has to be a theme. While the girls' team made a half-hearted attempt at Mediterranean - tomato and basil on everything - the boys opted (only three years too early) for the 2012 Olympics.

So the entire continent of Asia, with all its rich culinary diversity, was summed up by a chicken tikka wrap. The United States, meanwhile, was represented by "the Michael Phelps peanut butter sandwich" (presumably the savoury equivalent of a space cake), and Britain by a cube of cheddar on a stick.

At least the boys remembered that the Games had originated in Ancient Greece. Enter Rocky's Olympian waiters, wrapped in sheets, with their arses hanging out. "I'm so sorry about this," groaned the mortified host to one of his guests.

Under head chef Yasmina, the girls' team was a well-oiled machine, turning out well-oiled snacks. Most of their giant, sloppy "canapés" were about as appropriate for a swanky drinks party as a handful of soup. "My favourite things are these bellinis," Yasmina chirped, wrapping a greasy pancake round a courgette. They're not bellinis! They're not even blinis! Are you sure you run a restaurant?

Her cheap and cheerless tactics paid off, though - Sir Alan was mightily impressed by her 200 per cent margin, choosing to ignore the destruction she'd wrought on her client's business relationships. Meanwhile, the boys' approach cost them more than their dignity. Rocky took Jabbering James and Howard the Frog back into the boardroom.

You had to feel a bit sorry for 21-year-old Rocky. Not only had his youthful naivety let him down, but he was also sure to be the target of Sir Alan's new-found punning skills, which are already threatening to get out of control: "Seconds out, round three. Rocky, you are very much on the ropes," offered the grizzled one. Before dealing the knock-out blow. Oh no - it's catching!

**

What did you think of the teams' performances? Did Rocky deserve to go? Post a comment below and share your thoughts.

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Comments

  • Posted on 16 October 2009
  • at 5:51pm
  • by PaulJones-RT

I love Lucy!

  • Posted on 16 October 2009
  • at 5:47pm
  • by Lucy

I LOVE this blog. I still kill myself laughing re-reading it all these months later. Give Paul Jones a raise. And a bigger office.

  • Posted on 05 April 2009
  • at 7:59pm
  • by Mark

The people who go on the Apprentice are apparently extremely smart, talented business people. But for some reason, in episodes of the Apprentice, they come across as incredibly stupid.

Still, I don't think Rocky should have gone. Someone like him would have changed and improved significantly in the next few tasks, while Jabbering James (love that name!) is clearly not going to change. He's gonna keep moaning and bitching his way until his inevitable firing. Keeping James was a waste.

  • Posted on 02 April 2009
  • at 4:44pm
  • by Puzzles

As the Olympics originated in Greece, why were the boys dressed as Romans ?

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