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The Apprentice: Week One

Anita Shah in The Apprentice
  • Posted at 1:27pm
  • 26 March 2009
  • by PaulJones-RT
  • 5 comments

Ominous classical music? Check. Grim-faced candidates striding purposefully across bridges? Check. Said candidates making absurd claims about business prowess and ruthlessness? Oh, yes. Sir Alan bellowing that his TV show is the hardest thing anyone in the world has ever done, ever? YES! New series of The Apprentice? Bring it on!

But what's this? Has Sir Alan been scribbling down notes behind those frosted glass doors? Because he's got himself some witty new lines: "I'm as hard to play as a Stradivarius," and "I'm looking for a diamond. Well, a diamond started out as a lump of coal." Take that, candidates! "Could be you're here because you're good with words," he'd spat contemptuously earlier. Could be you've got some competition…

But enough talk. It was time for the candidates to get their hands dirty - with a cleaning task. And despite washing cars until the sun went down, Anita, Debra and girls' team leader Mona found themselves back in the boardroom.

The items up for debate included: was Mona a good project manager? She wasn't. Did Debra call her fellow team members "useless f***ing puppets"? She did. Should Anita, who was in charge of finance, have attempted to stop the girls blowing their entire £200 budget on cleaning products? Debatable.

In one breath, Sir Alan says he wants candidates to take the initiative, make themselves heard and solve problems, in the next he's talking about the chain of command and how when he runs a project everyone just shuts up and does as they're told. So Anita couldn't really win.

In the end, though, that was all irrelevant. As usual, it was down to who could shout the loudest.

Mona (and, yes, she did moan but unfortunately that doesn't work as it's pronounced "Monna") has a strange argumentative style, like an angry child on the verge of tears.

Debra, we're told, was awarded the title "mouth of the year" at her office Christmas party. Knowing how debauched office Christmas parties can get, that could mean any number of things. But she talked a decent game.

Lawyer Anita's strategy was to stay quiet, bide her time and when her opponents least expected it, launch into a systematic demolition - of herself. You wouldn't want her defending you in court.

Soft-spoken and unassertive, Anita had never seemed the part. Anyone who describes their range of skills as "a rainbow", and whose unique selling point is, "People want to chat with me," probably shouldn't be working for Sir Alan.

**

So who do you think deserved to go? Did the first episode fail to ignite? Who are the leaders and losers? Post a comment below and let us know.

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Comments

  • Posted on 30 April 2009
  • at 11:51am
  • by The Lazy Project Manager

30/04/09 - Week six - Noorul you're fired!

So Mr 'Mostly Harmless' has finally gone, inevitable really, all Ben had to do was get him in the boardroom and it was a done deal. Firing him took less time that it did for Ben to make his mind up about who else he was going to bring in with him - James, no Debra ...

That said this was a week when neither team won, they both lost; it is just that Philip's team lost by less than Ben's team. This was also a week when Sir Alan pointed out (not in these exact words I know) that all the teams really had to do was take the 'productive lazy' approach to the task. They did not have to sell all the items, they should have focused their efforts on identifying the valuable 'gems' in the pack and then selling them hard and at a profit. The old '80/20' rule really. If they had done this victory was assured.

Philip showed no real leadership skills and continued to override his team, despite a positive start with Lorraine (Cassandra as Margaret now calls her), and Ben was worse. He looked completely shellshocked this week and was a sure fire candidate for the taxi home if Noorul hadn't have still been there (being Mostly Harmless).

High points: Sir Alan's eyes when Margaret started on about Cassandra (he had no idea who she was) and Sir Alan's quote of the week 'I hope you're bringing in people for the right reasons. I hope you're not thinking about James, that there might be a village missing an idiot somewhere...'

Oh and one last idea for Sir Alan. I picked up on Noorul's comment about why Ben was really on The Apprentice - to win or to get famous - why not add in a special task one week where the candidates are secretly and individually offered deals to quit the series, book deals, modelling deals, TV deals, whatever. Then let's see who is in it for the long game, who really wants to be The Apprentice.

  • Posted on 30 March 2009
  • at 5:11pm
  • by phil T

I think that one of the lads will be the next to go as they have got a brain between them, well when it comes to washing cars how hard can it be for five people for one car ? Really amazes me why this happens every year, do they pick them for kicks, my money is on Mr. posh as he really does look absolutely useless

  • Posted on 28 March 2009
  • at 12:42am
  • by Jake

Why did one of the blokes bottle it at the last minute.? Surely he knew what he was getting into.

  • Posted on 28 March 2009
  • at 12:42am
  • by Jake

Why did one of the blokes bottle it at the last minute.? Surely he knew what he was getting into.

  • Posted on 27 March 2009
  • at 11:35am
  • by Golfer

Debra should have gone or Mona. Typically it was the one shouldn't have gone who did. Never mind Anita,I don't think you'd have enjoyed business.

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