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Dancing on Ice leaves Alison Graham cold

Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean
  • Posted at 5:46pm
  • 23 January 2009
  • by AlisonGraham-RT
  • 8 comments

There was no hope of hiding from the bombast in the opening show of Dancing on Ice (11 January ITV1), because it started early. As the overblown Carmina Burana blasted across the rink and the "celebrity" skaters lined up to grin with fear, the voiceover boomed: "This is one of the greatest challenges they will ever face." Oh for heaven's sake, it's not as if they're embarking on the early stages of stem-cell research, it's a talent show.

But the egregiousness didn't stop there. Step forward Tony Gubba, who commentated on the slow-motion bits after the contestants' live performances. With one brief sentence, Gubba easily scaled heights of tastelessness that in lesser hands would have required crampons and a bobble hat. Of one of the professional skaters, a Ukranian, he noted: "The beautiful Ukranian blonde - at least there's something still cooking on gas." And that's unacceptable on just how many levels?

There is something a bit dismal about Dancing on Ice and I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's because the contestants resemble gurning Bratz dolls, even the men. Maybe it's Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean - glorious, wonderful skaters. But there's no frisson. They look like travel agents.

Then there's judge Ruthie Henshall, for whom I've always had an irrational dislike - until I heard her on Desert Island Discs last year and realised that, actually, my dislike was completely rational after all.

The contestants were the usual mix of the hopeless - Todd Carty, who looked destined to be John Sergeant in the incompetent-but-nice-bloke category - the rather less hopeless, and the one who was quite good (Ray Quinn, who tore around like an energetic pixie).

Donal MacIntyre, befriender of gangsters and football yobs, was the most incongruous sight of the night as, a vision in blue sequins, he pirouetted onto the ice like Bambi. "It could be the riskiest thing he's ever done," waffled the commentary. Oh Donal, how do you sleep?

**

See the celebrity contestants in all their sequined glory in our Dancing on Ice photo gallery.

Comments

  • Posted on 04 June 2009
  • at 5:33pm
  • by Torvill and Dean 4eva

Dancing on ice is great its so much better then most of the reality shows that are on today! Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean are legends and will remain so forever, they were fantastic in the 80s and they never cease to amaze now!


  • Posted on 11 March 2009
  • at 2:48pm
  • by Beebop

I do understand comments about Coleen, but she is trying her best, but I think Zoe was good but what makes my blood boil is the comments Ruth gave Zoe every week is she in love with her- for goodness sake, AT LEAST WE DONT HAVE TO CARRY ON LISTENING TO THAT EACH WEEK now Zoe has been voted off it was getting sickly!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • Posted on 09 March 2009
  • at 8:09pm
  • by johnp

You have to admit that the show is very well set up - great lighting and very tight camerawork. Why just not enjoy it. On another level there is great skill in this LIVE show.


  • Posted on 09 March 2009
  • at 8:39am
  • by Angie

I think its a disgrace that Coleen is still there and brilliant skaters have been voted off. She has become the John Sergant on ice. How can she live with herself!


  • Posted on 08 March 2009
  • at 9:35pm
  • by lala

this is fixed coline was ment 2 go out pour zoe !! i h8 dancing on ice it's rubish coz of that!!


  • Posted on 03 March 2009
  • at 12:18pm
  • by anon

That's it - if Coleen Nolan does not get voted out the week of Sat 07/03/09 our whole neighbourhood will stop viewing. It's a scandal that two really good skaters (Melinda and Roxanne) were voted off when it was so obvious how good they were next to Coleen who cannot even skate without holding on to her partner. It doesn't take a fool to work out that Coleen's buddies i.e. Loose Women' etc are 'voting' by just pressing the redial phone button (probably won't cost them anything either). Jason's the only fair judge who just tells it how it is. Come on viewers - these skaters are puting in a lot more work, and a lot more polished performance, than Coleen who depends on her 'supposed wit' to get her through.


  • Posted on 01 February 2009
  • at 9:15pm
  • by Jenny

Typical ITV. This is very much a poor imitation (but with ice) of the BBC's strictly come dancing. If this line up is the best they can come with ...then god help us. The judges have become cariactures.....Torville & Dean are too just too bland for anyone to care about.... The only ice skater worth watching is Todd Carty. Very poor


  • Posted on 27 January 2009
  • at 6:04pm
  • by Jo

So much to agree with here. And the sad thing is that many people watching it probably think that this is proper skating, now that it's hardly ever shown on TV (anyone spot the British Figure Skating Championships last week?) - I'd rather see Jayne, Chris and the judges on the ice (except Ruthie - I'm with you on that one), even if they are a bit long in the tooth for athletes

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