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Stay in for X Factor, Lead Balloon and more…

Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole, Dannii Minogue and Louis Walsh on the X Factor
  • Posted at 5:30pm
  • 21 November 2008
  • by AlisonGraham-RT

I've developed a minor fixation with the X Factor choreographer Brian Friedman, the man with the impeccable eyebrows and the assiduously tended beard-ette; the man who doesn't have a good word to say for anyone.

In those little video inserts in every show, Brian is very fond of conjuring up doom-laden scenarios for the ill-dressed X Factor contestants before they come pattering on to the stage. "If Daniel/Rachel/JLS/whoever loses confidence, they will fall headfirst into a vat of boiling oil/spiral into the deepest pits of Hell/be dragged across hot coals by evil elves."

It's great fun of course, and roughly ten million people a week think it's well worth staying in for on Saturday nights. Strictly Come Dancing attracts similar figures, so that's an awful lot of people who aren't indulging in recreational pole dancing or baiting wolves or whatever it is people are supposed to do on Saturday nights.

Actually, telly really comes into its own with big let's-all-meet-on-the-village-green events like these (I can't bear to say "watercooler TV", it's just so American). And surely the current recession must result in more people staying in to watch telly. Besides, social lives can get so wearisome, don't you think? I'm no Nancy Mitford, twirling around the ballrooms of Mayfair, but it's good to take a guilt-free breather from the giddy whirl (well, not that giddy) for the uncomplicated joy of putting on ancient dressing gown and slippers and watching just about anything from repeats of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (how I love Jeremy Brett) and QI, to Katie and Peter: The Next Chapter. And please don't judge me about that last one, by the way. They're fascinating - it's like watching bears trying to catch a bus.

Luckily, there's currently plenty of good new stuff around to make credit-crunch-defying nights in well worthwhile, leaving you with no need to worry that you might be missing out on some wild gathering where everyone dives into a life-sized chocolate fountain just for the hell of it. And even if you are, surely the delights of, say, the brilliantly funny Outnumbered, or Lead Balloon, make your exclusion from the chocolate-y social scene worthwhile.

Then there's Apparitions, with Martin Shaw as an exorcist, which strikes me as very much dressing-gown-and-slippers-let's-not-bother-with- late-night-shopping material. It's crazy-mad and frequently hilarious, but that didn't do Bonekickers any harm, did it? I can see it becoming a cult.

If you don't fancy seeing Martin Shaw chanting in Latin and wielding a cross, then there's the wonderful The Devil's Whore (the English Civil War made sexy) and Mad Men (1960s US advertising made sexy). So stay in, it's good for you.

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