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The Hairy Bakers

The Hairy Bakers Simon King and Dave Myers
  • Posted at 12:22pm
  • 05 September 2008
  • by AlisonGraham-RT
  • 12 comments

The Hairy Bakers are like two dull uncles at a children's party. You know the type: ebullient to the point of embolism; tediously cheerful; and telling bad gags and doing tricks with a 50p piece, before hitting you over the head with a rolled paper. For fun.

I've sat through a couple of episodes of The Hairy Bakers, and both times I fully expected either Dave Myers or Simon King (like Ant and Dec, I don't know which is which and I don't care) to reach out of the screen and give me a playful whack across the ear before exhorting me to "get outside in the fresh air, it'll do you good".

They remind me of John Noakes in the heyday of Blue Peter. Their trip to Cornwall (1 September) was just the kind of thing Noakes would have done in his spin-off series, Go with Noakes, though they lacked Noakes's brutish charm and sense of purpose. Because that's the problem with The Hairy Bakers - what exactly is it for? Is it a travelogue? Is it a cookery programme? Not much of either?

In Cornwall the Hairies made their version of a pasty before going into a tin mine. Because that's what you visit Cornwall for in a TV show. But it was a desultory little meander, which made me wonder why they'd even bothered to put on helmets and recruit a guide. In a previous episode, they visited Bakewell in Derbyshire. Guess why.

Throughout, the Hairy Bakers never, ever shut up. There was a constant stream of chat, mostly lame gags and laboured exclamations such as, when making a pie, "Yer won't see it again until it's about to go into yer gob." I don't expect everyone on TV to talk like Ralph Richardson, but come on, they take excruciating faux-northern mateyness too far.

The Bikers ended up in Scotland to make a Scotch pie - they like their eponymous dishes, these two. They wore kilts and they made jokes. Of course.

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Comments

  • Posted on 02 October 2009
  • at 4:52pm
  • by Scheppach

Taste their food did you dan? I bet there is a north south divide in these comments, I know where I would rather live.

  • Posted on 17 May 2009
  • at 12:51am
  • by tootsl

firstly, i know both bikers personally and the do ride those bikes. Everywhere. And have done so for 20. Secondly the are both excellent cooks and know food. Thirdlly they work their bloody arses off. And lastly, what u see is what u get, they are both true blue stand up guys! Sorry i get a bit defensive when people critisise who have no bloody idea what they are talking about. Si is a very good friend of mine, who would incidently, kick my ass if he knew i was bothering to post this.

  • Posted on 06 January 2009
  • at 10:14pm
  • by ArielSquareFour

Bless 'em, they do no harm. Me, I'm bored witless with ultra-slick, giant-head presenters, always hitting their marks & giving good auto-cue. For those of us who prefer the Roadies' Cabaret to the turn, these guys are a breath of fresh air. I had a biker uncle who was a bit of gourmet on the quiet & was fond of him too. The review reads like petulant teenage contrarianism - she'll grow out of it. Or become Julie Birchall & I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

  • Posted on 29 September 2008
  • at 12:13pm
  • by snowqueen

i think these two guys are great, from the minute the show starts i have a grin on my face, theya re very funny, there seems to be alot of people out there with no sence of humour any more. I say good luck to them.

  • Posted on 13 September 2008
  • at 4:57pm
  • by Melanie

Why are there so many sour pusses around today? If you don't like a programme, just switch it off - or is that too simple for the ever growing judgmental and critical British population?

I missed all programmes except for 4/4 and liked their honest down-to-earth approach and humerous banter so much that I decided to watch the repeats. After two Saturday afternoon programmes, the other two have been relegated to after 2 a.m. in the sign zone - and I don't want to watch the biggest part of the screen taken up by a 'signer'.

Don't get me wrong, I think ALL programmres should be signed for the deaf - I just would prefer it if we had the choice of whether we watch it, as we do with subtitles.

By the way, I prefer the superior and varied programmes of the BBC to any other channel.

Hope you all have a day of smiles.

  • Posted on 08 September 2008
  • at 1:25pm
  • by Eliza

Come on now Ms Graham. Lighten up. They're funny lads, and perfectly lovely entertainment. They don't take themselves too seriously, and I suspect they wouldn't want us to either.

As for the comment about faux-northern mateyness - in what sense is it fake? They really are from the north you know!

I moved to the sometimes sour-faced, take-yourself-FAR-too-seriously South East a couple of years ago from the beloved North. I watch Si and Dave because they remind me of what I'm missing - warmth, a down-to-earth approach and most importantly a good dollop of humour.

  • Posted on 07 September 2008
  • at 10:49pm
  • by Pythagorakis

Head the nail on the hit

  • Posted on 07 September 2008
  • at 2:00am
  • by Zoe

Leave them alone! They're fun and friendly and lovely.

  • Posted on 06 September 2008
  • at 3:19pm
  • by SunKing

I watched the episode about pies and really didn't see it anything more an easy way to kill time. It's very light entertainment, pleasant and completely unoffensive. Perhaps the whole thing is too much of a cliche to be taken seriously and I imagine it is rather phony but I don't find it anything to get wound up about.

One thing I did find hillarious though is when one of them goes "don't use margarine, because it's crap!" in his strong northern accent. His delivery of that line and the camera shot of his saying it was priceless. Honestly made me laugh out loud.

  • Posted on 06 September 2008
  • at 3:05pm
  • by Dan

I whole heartedly agree, they can't cook, they're not funny, time for bed boys.

  • Posted on 06 September 2008
  • at 6:51am
  • by MyKeL

The whole "biking" thing has crossed any line of credibility and I think we've all managed the bikers/bakers segue. Anyway, real bikers would have old Nortons or Triumphs, leaking oil, not brand new BMWs with, I've no doubt, just a few miles on the clock. In fact, telly is giving biking a bad name. Recently there was Ewan McGregor and his mate pretending to rough it through Africa, safe in the knowledge that any real danger and the cavalry would have been there in minutes. And then flogging men's perfume off the back of it. At least The Two Fat Ladies got it right with their Triumph Thunderbird combination. Mind you, they had class.

  • Posted on 06 September 2008
  • at 4:57am
  • by Andrew

I totally agree with Alison .It is a programme excruciating to watch.Totally unfunny & not at all informative.

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