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Big Brother - week six

Luke, Big Brother housemate
  • Posted at 3:20pm
  • 17 July 2008
  • by WilliamGallagher-RT

Paul phoned: he wants to say "Hola!" to you. RT's Big Brother expert is in Spain, pretending to be getting away from it all but, come on: he was beside himself when he heard that the housemates were cycling to Madrid.

Does Paul know the housemates or what? He told me to make sure I watched out for Luke and Bex, that I try not to be caught up with Rex's arrogance. And obviously he wanted me to phone the eviction line for him many, many times.

I did know who the housemates are: you can't have been in the Western hemisphere and not heard Belinda's snoring. But I've been off blogging about Doctor Who and that's a very different thing.

Well, not as much as I'd expected actually, but on no other planet will you find quite the same type of heartwarming love as there is the BB house.

Romance 5/5

And all 5 are for Luke and Bex with that snog. Though by sheer volume the prize ought to have gone to Sara for her flirting with everyone. First you think she's just being pleasant and friendly, then no, it is indeed comprehensive flirting, and then finally you just think: enough, stop, join the mime task.

Sara even had Darnell looking so coy he could break. He stands there, wearing that French policeman's hat like he was born to it, and he shuffles and he smiles. He loves that way she has of sticking her tongue out.

"I'll stop doing it," she says, stomping on his heart.

There's nothing like that between Luke and Bex, though. Maybe there was once, back in the distant time before they became an ancient married couple, but right now, they're sweet snog-mates. Good old Luke, who says he's never actually been on dates - apart from with the woman he was seeing before he came into the house."I definitely paid for a lot of the dates," he said, managing to really tell you, me and Bex that he'd never opened his wallet in his life.

Task 4/5

What do you think, was the bike too high? I think it might have been.

Not 100% sure how I managed to sense that, how we were meant to divine this information out of the ether, because it can't have been that Bex screamed it on a loop 1,700 times. Why does she repeat like this? Does she think nobody heard her, that nobody listens to her?

OK, that's fair.

You'll get no criticism from me about the mime task, though. That was genuinely good: Maysoon, especially. And it was quiet, too. Bliss.

Quotes 3/5

It's a tiny thing, but it was the funniest moment of the week for me because it involved Rex. He hates mime artists, he hates all mime: "you don't have an imaginary box," he announced with a level of wit and profundity that he could see even if I couldn't. Then he explained that if any mime ever came near him, ever, "I would literally do...that". Not sure what "that" meant? He meant pushing them away and helpfully he explained this. By miming.

Lisa: "I used to wear loads more make-up when I was younger. It's more classy now." Sometimes there is just nothing you can add.

Mo got into the wine tasting: "I can taste the smell as well!"

And Mario showed quite some depth with "a standing prick has no conscience".

But anyway, back to Rex. This man says he throws away his mobile phone when the battery runs out, that he then just buys another one. His fans think he's joking, and maybe he is. You'd have to be thick to never find a mains socket.

Still, there really should be a word for someone who keeps tossing things away.

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