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Big Brother: week five

Big Brother contestant Sara
  • Posted at 5:23pm
  • 09 July 2008
  • by PaulJones-RT
  • 5 comments

New housemates 4/5

When Big Brother "let slip" that three new females would be entering the house this week, I was excited. Not because the prospect of ogling new women has the significance for me that it does for poor incarcerated Dale, Rex and Stu (I live in the outside world and can ogle women whenever I want). No, I was intrigued by the claim that one of the new arrivals would be an Angelina Jolie lookalike. And, sure enough, Australian Sara has largish, vaguely pouty lips, a face, arms and legs.

I'll tell you what, though, Sara does remind me of someone. Could it be a former Aussie soap star? Or some comedienne or other? I'm not sure. Anyway, I'm not, quite, suggesting she's another "Pooh" (although if she does turn out to be an actress planted by BB you heard it here first), but there is something very familiar, and slightly unbelievable, about her, don't you think..?

So far, though, Sara has the potential to be either rather entertaining or hugely irritating. OMG - she's loud! And she does tend to (or at least pretend to) think that anything anyone does is "Amazing!" But she also seems relatively intelligent, with a talent for deadpan putdowns. Her feigned enthusiasm for Rex's pride and joy - his incredible "chrome" shoes - amused me. "I don't even care," she laughed to Maysoon, as Rex trotted away to fetch the wondrous footwear. Maybe she's just two-faced. But right now I'd say the house is richer for her presence.

New housemate number two, Maysoon, seems bright-ish for a Lynx model, and just, y'know, nice. Whether her niceness will translate into an infuriating lack of opinion or a strong moral sense remains to be seen, but for some reason I'm leaning slightly towards the latter. At the moment she is the object of Mohamed's awkward attentions, which could be fun to follow.

And so to new housemate number three. Ah, Belinda. Belinda, Belinda, Belinda, who believes it is necessary to repeat her name three times in order to get people to remember her. In fact, since just about everything she says or does is irritating, no-one is likely to forget her in a hurry.

Belinda, a 44-year-old mother of two, is an artistic director for a theatre group - or as she describes it, "multimedia experimental arts jam". I prefer raspberry myself.

She's like one of those embarrassing schoolteachers who wants to be in touch with young people, and impart their "wisdom" to them. With the male of the species, this manifests itself as attempting to get young R'n'B fans into Pink Floyd. For Belinda, it's jazz, which she is convinced is still a radical new art form that transcends all boundaries.

Belinda enjoys scatting in people's faces (by scatting I mean "a type of jazz singing characterised by improvised vocal sounds" not "defecating" - that would, probably, make her even less popular). She thinks this is going to make the lucky recipients explode with enlightened awe, rather than cringe with embarrassment.

And if all that wasn't sufficient to have doomed Belinda from the start, there's her snoring. I won't try to describe it in terms of animal noises or the sounds made by power tools as I'm sure that's been done to death by now, but it is so extreme that some housemates are even wondering if tolerating it is "a secret task". Anything to convince themselves that it's not real and is not going to continue for the duration of Belinda's (short) stay in the house.

Headline quotes 4/5

Mario admits "I was Robbie Coltrane's body double."

Lisa in "out of body experience" shock! "As you become older and tap into the universe," explained Lisa, "using psychic energy gets easier." Maybe she should have tapped into some of that energy when trying to fight her way out of that giant paper bag during this week's task.

Kat has a mischievous dig at Rex: "Rachel, you so tired today. Twice you fall asleep when Rex talking about his restaurant."

Luke sums up all the problems of the world in one sentence: "I don't hate Rex but I'm convinced Rex hates me so I'm gonna hate him back." That's how wars start.

**

I am away next week, so a colleague is covering for me. I'm going to a land where they don't have Big Brother. Except for Spanish Big Brother. Yes, it's Spain! I intend to eat lots of delicious tapas, drink an ill-advised amount of sangria and take siestas. I will not be rushing to an internet café every five minutes to find out whether Bex has suffocated Belinda in her sleep, oh no.

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Comments

  • Posted on 17 July 2008
  • at 11:53am
  • by Shoegal

When are u going to put up new commets, been the same for over a week now...people want new insights and observations

  • Posted on 11 July 2008
  • at 2:42pm
  • by PaulJones-RT

That's a kind offer Jem, but although being in stupid warm, sunny Spain with no work to do is going to be tough, I feel it's important to test yourself sometimes. What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger…

A week is a long time in Big Brother, though, and I bet something huge happens in the house while I'm away. Probably, someone will kill Belinda.

Whatever it is, enjoy. And while you're watching, think of me, suffering in BB-less purgatory. Pah! And they say Barcelona is a city rich in culture!

  • Posted on 10 July 2008
  • at 7:28pm
  • by Jem

Paul, however will you manage without the big brother fix. I mean spanish Big Brother sounds no fun at all.. Bronzed spanish stallions rubbing bronzing oil into un-naturally skinny senoritas with huge…eyes.. To be on the safe side, I'll take your holiday for you and you can send me daily updates by text ok? Deal…yes deal…we're done here...someone pack my bag please!!

  • Posted on 10 July 2008
  • at 2:19pm
  • by PaulJones-RT

Yeah, that was funny.

I can't see any way - barring Big Brother intervention - that she'll last past her first week. Can you?

  • Posted on 09 July 2008
  • at 8:52pm
  • by Zoe

last night's episode had to contain THE funniest moment to date. dale and stuart in the diary room doing impressions of Belinda, belinda, belinda's "scatting" as you called it. "Brother…shoden dooo wap bap…sisters!" dales impression was priceless and the way stuart described the desire for someone to just shout your name to save you from BBB serenading you with song, had me in stiches!

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