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The Apprentice: Week Nine

The Apprentice hopeful Raef Bjayou
  • Posted at 10:54am
  • 22 May 2008
  • by PaulJones-RT
  • 4 comments

OK, hands up, who fell for it? This week, the teams were given the task of creating and advertising a brand of tissues and, admit it, when you watched the resulting TV ads, you thought Alpha had blown it.

The two schoolchildren sharing a tissue and a shy smile in Renaissance's ad were so cute, weren't they? And Alpha's effort was so naff, and garish, and laboured. It couldn’t possibly impress the watching ad executives.

That's what I thought – and then I remembered bellowing BARRY SCOTT!, the in-your-face advocate of miraculous, all-purpose cleaning product Cillit Bang! Renaissance boss Raef and his sidekick Michael had forgotten the fundamental rules of advertising: show people the product, give them its name, tell them what it does – loudly! Instead, Raef dreamed of being the next Fellini while Michael fondly recalled his acting days (apparently, he once played Fagin in a production of Oliver! If his understanding of kosher law is anything to go by, that's probably the extent of his much-flaunted Jewishness).

So while Lee, Alex and Lucinda's retina-searing box of "Atishus" won them a shopping spree in Harvey Nicks - "Go off and enjoy yourself, and buy yourself a bit of gear," rasped an almost avuncular Sir Alan – Raef, Michael and Claire found themselves back in the boardroom (by way of the notorious Bridge Café).

When Raef vowed, ahead of his final audience with Sir Alan, "I'm not gonna cheapen myself by starting to lie, or make accusations that are blatantly false," I thought, "Raef, I believe you. You are class". When he said, “So far, we've been unified, and we're gonna stick to that," I thought "Famous last words".

Yes, I was imagining Michael's attempts to s**t on Raef in the boardroom (I did mean that figuratively, but given the disgusting behaviour Sir Alan has already allowed Michael get away with, who knew how far it might go?).

As it turned out, there was minimal s**tting from everyone (despite Sir Alan's prediction that Claire would machine-gun them all with the bovine variety). Michael's biggest crime was to tell Sir Alan, "Everything you like about the advertisement [whatever that might be] came from me," while the best Raef could muster in retaliation was an amusingly garbled metaphor - "You're a rat jumping off the sinking ship as soon as things…hit the fan". In the end, Raef got short shrift from Sir Alan and his cronies. Nick said, "When you look behind the elegance and all that flowery language, there ain't much there," but I suspect that if you even dare to use "flowery language" in front of salts-of-the-earth like Sir Alan, it doesn’t really matter what you do, you don't stand much of a chance.

Now, with Raef cruelly taken from me, my hopes are pinned on Lucinda, who this week donned her most inspiring costume yet. In a blue beret with red coat, scarf and heels, Lucinda looked like a superhero - and with Raef gone I'll be relying on her to see that justice is done.

What's that in the sky? It's a bird… It's a plane… No, it's Beret Girl! And she's our only hope...

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  • Posted on 22 May 2008
  • at 7:05pm
  • by PaulJones-RT

I'm starting to think the same thing. Please God (Sir Alan), no!

Lee v Lucinda would be good. If they didn't both get through, I wonder if she'd pick him (or vice versa)? Lee worked really well under Lucinda and he definitely appreciates her management skills. Wouldn't it be great to see them working together to defeat the evil Michael?!

  • Posted on 22 May 2008
  • at 6:45pm
  • by djdiva921
I really think Michael might win. I'd hate it, but I think it's a distinct possibility. A Lucina and Lee final would be great though. I wonder who they'd pick for their teams?
  • Posted on 22 May 2008
  • at 6:38pm
  • by PaulJones-RT

Definitely. But then I thought that last week. And this week. Sir Alan seems to have an inexplicable soft spot for him. It's a bit worrying...

Clearly, I'm a Lucinda fan (and I also think Lee has real potential) - who would you like to see win it?

  • Posted on 22 May 2008
  • at 3:09pm
  • by Ionaclio

Michael has just got to go next week, don't you think? He told so many lies, his nose should beat that of Pinocchio! He may even need an Atishu!

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