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The Apprentice: Week Five

The Apprentice hopeful Lindi Mngaza
  • Posted at 2:20pm
  • 24 April 2008
  • by PaulJones-RT

Wacky ice-cream flavours, Lucinda as project manager and the prospect of Claire being fired – all the ingredients for a deliciously indulgent bowlful of reality TV.

So, what flavour ice cream would you sell to the people of London? My favourite was Lee's homely "cup of tea" flavour, but Lucinda’s team settled on toffee-apple and avocado varieties (Lucinda championing the latter by donning an avocado-coloured suit). She also made Lindi her second in command, which reminded me of that toilet paper advert where the three-year-old's in charge of the company.

Early on in the series, I enjoyed Lucinda's quirky ways, but lately I'd come to wonder if she was actually any good at, like, anything. Well, this week I got my answer. Lucinda is a manager - and a great one at that! Even Helene admitted, "She finally got her finger out of her arse". I just hope she washed her hands before she made the ice cream.

Claire's team turned up half an hour late for their consumer tasting session, by which time there was no-one there. So they headed to the pub. Could two half-cut locals, their palates adulterated by red wine, grasp the subtleties of cider and elderflower ice cream? Hopefully yes, since that was the full extent of Renaissance's market research.

To the boardroom - or should that be bathroom? As Sir Alan emerged once more from his glass cubicle, a thought struck me. Could it be that behind that door was his private throne? Was that why the candidates were made to wait outside for so long? Were faithful aides Nick and Margaret party to every parp? When Jennifer did that pouty sneer, perhaps it wasn't arrogance or nerves – perhaps it was the smell!

But I digress. One of the consistently entertaining aspects of the series so far has been watching the emotions flicker across the contestants' faces in the boardroom as they cynically calculate and recalculate who to side with and exactly what to say to give themselves the best chance of survival. So it was really refreshing when Lindi (who had earlier tried to sell ice cream to an ice-cream maker) did the opposite of hedging her bets and told Sir Alan, "Based on this task, I’d fire Jennifer, but overall it would be Lucinda." Bye, Lindi, you "sizzling hot superstar"…

So, let's assess the fallout from week five: Jennifer hates Lucinda because she called her "manipulative". Jennifer hates Helene because she called her "a snake". Helene and Lucinda's feud has escalated because Lucinda told tales on Helene. Jennifer has discovered that everyone else thinks she is "cold".

And honest Lee McQueen - who knew a good manager when he saw one and stood up for Lucinda - is a bit of a hero. A cup of tea for Lee, please.

Finally, a scoop to tempt you back. Team Renaissance sold a batch of their ice cream to a shop just up the road from me. How about I buy some, try it and report back next week? You will be here, won’t you…?

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