Saturday 21 November

BLOGS

blogCategory
Previous
Back to blog
Next

The Apprentice: Week Three

The Apprentice hopeful Ian Stringer
  • Posted at 2:37pm
  • 10 April 2008
  • by PaulJones-RT

Lucinda upped the sartorial ante this week, having apparently dressed herself from one of those bin bags you see torn open outside charity shops. She'd managed to grab a purple tartan beret, a hospital-green shawl and a zebra-striped skirt before the old lady arrived to open up.

The task was to bring themed cuisine to a traditional pub. When Michael suggested Italian, team leader Ian was excited. "It's a light bulb moment. Shoot it down or keep it up there." I must have missed that edition of Family Fortunes:

"Name something you do with a light bulb." "Shoot it down!" Eh-uh! "Sorry, the top answer was 'Keep it up there'. Unlucky."

So Michael got the Italian he'd been craving. Thankfully, they discarded Simon's idea of wearing false moustaches. Then again, as things turned out, a disguise might have been Ian's best chance of avoiding the chop. In the boys' kitchen, Guildford's self-styled "culinary adventurer" Kevin shared his edgy ideas. "Maybe a baked mushroom. Baked. In the oven. With salt and pepper" (steady on Kevin, with food that exotic you'll blow the customers' minds). And for dessert? "We could make lattes and sprinkle them with chocolate." Why, Ambassador, with these chocolate-sprinkled lattes you are really spoiling us…

After the girls conjured up a big vat of lumpy sick for their lunch sitting, huge-eyed Helene felt some of her team-mates were unfairly pointing the finger at Sara. "Maybe it's some people's strategy" – yes, Claire, she's looking at you – "to let somebody f*** up, then they get voted out. For me, performing as a team keeps you out of the boardroom." Ridiculous, Helene – business is not about co-operation or teamwork, it's about clawing your way to the top over the bloody corpses of your opponents.

Lindi's idea to boost sales and garner tips was to personalise the waitress service. But if Jenny being angry is scary, then Jenny attempting light and frothy, in a sari, is terrifying. In the boardroom, the boys were asked whether Ian had been a good leader. A heavy silence descended. Tumbleweed whipped past, and in the distance an ominous bell tolled. "Sometimes silence is thunderous," observed Simon gravely.

Nevertheless, I was worried that we were about to witness a travesty of even greater proportions than last week's, so it was a nice touch from Sir Alan to tell Simon straight away that he'd be staying.

Ian had to go. Yes, Kevin is a half-wit who wields unconvincing bravado in an attempt to cover his natural meekness, but even he made more of an effort to lead than Ian.

When you have someone else making your motivational speeches for you, and another of your team is so distressed that he begins referring to himself in the third person – "Lee McQueen is concerned!" - before laying down the law - "Listen up, and listen good, and I don't want any backchat, yeah?" – then you know your time is up.

Yes, the boys' restaurant was a right dog's dinner. But at least Sir Alan didn't make a meal of firing Ian.

Link to this post
Post a comment

Post a comment

Do you have something to say about this post? Share your thoughts…

Post a comment

(first or nickname only)

Please do not include any personal or personally identifiable information about yourself or others (including email addresses). All information you submit about yourself or others can be viewed by others.

Thank you for your comment

Thank you for your comments. All comments will be looked at by a moderator, however, due to the numbers of comments we receive, we can't promise that all will be posted on the site.

Post another comment

More


Advertisement