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The Food Programme

Saltcellars
  • Posted at 4:21pm
  • 19 March 2008
  • by SarahDempster-RT

Salt. What is it? Why is there so much of it? And what in the name of inexplicably fashionable table accessories are you supposed to do with the stuff? The Food Programme (Sundays, 12:30pm, BBC Radio 4) approached the topic with caution, distracting it with a bout of napkin origami while experts backed it into a corner and began poking at it with their wooden spoons.

Not that it was giving much away. When it comes to weird white stuff that ends up scattered over plastic tabletops in regional community centres, salt is easily as inscrutable as dandruff. It's an enigma, wrapped in a riddle and sealed in a small paper sachet with the word Saxa written on it. It is, as lisping pop futurist Toyah might put it, a mythtery.

Simon Parkes certainly thought so. Marvelling at the increasing popularity of the substance - a trend that has led to such anomalies as vanilla-flavoured salt, "whisky salt", and a growing number of restaurants serving tiny dishes of sea-salt crystals assembled into the shape of Mayan temples - The Food Programme presenter slipped on his anorak and went off in search of the truth behind this most peculiar of comestibles.

His first port of call was an American who had written a book about salt. In a move that encapsulates the boldness and innovation of today's gastro-scene, said writer had called the book Salt. He also sounded as if he was about to nod off: a startling vote of confidence for subject matter many would consider quite dull.

"Salt is sodium chloride," drawled the author, possibly while adjusting the belt on his towelling dressing gown (white, naturally. Like salt). "There are large crystals and small crystals…" he added, distractedly, before drifting off, presumably back to Wikipedia, where he could find further details about this selfsame "salt" stuff and then tell us about them in a tone as authoritative as it is bored.

Less useless was a visit to a salt factory on Anglesey. Here, a man called David described how he harvests salt organically alongside mussels: a noble venture that ensures salt is free to graze, roam and forage in its natural habitat, free from artificial additives and intrusions from the likes of Jamie Oliver and placard-waving do-gooders in hemp sandals.

The production process, however, sounded insanely complicated. Salt gets sucked out of the sea by a big pipe, apparently. Then it gets transported into an evaporation plant where a vacuum makes it "go round and round". Then a man called Gareth shovels it into an oven. Then it gets some sort of massage before being shipped off to gastropubs, whereupon it will be formed into elaborate Mayan temples and served on micro-dishes to baffled diners who had only asked for some chips.

"It's a difficult subject," said one chef when asked to explain salt's evolution from powdery tabletop staple into said crystal-based Mayanesque talking point. Simon Parkes sounded bemused. A posh lady he'd asked to taste the latest varieties of designer salt sounded bamboozled. And after half an hour of salt-based reports and statistics, we too were none the wiser as to any of it.

What is salt? No idea. Why is there so much of it? Your guess is as good as mine. And what in the name of inexplicably fashionable table accessories are you supposed to do with the stuff? (Shrugs, blows nose, wanders off for a packet of (unsalted) crisps.)

Next week's theme? Oysters. Best pack a magnifying glass and a calculator.

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