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Gene Simmons Family Jewels
- Posted at 11:29am
- 17 October 2007
- by RhodriMarsden-RT
- 3 comments

The rock group Kiss were American through and through. Notorious in the States during the 1970s for monochrome make-up, fire breathing, blood spitting and gigantic tongues, they didn't have a hit in the UK until 1983 – by which time they'd jettisoned the slap in favour of a little light moisturiser, and were thus slightly more palatable to a British audience who preferred a more restrained approach to their heavy metal.
Despite this, bass player Gene Simmons in his full make-up is instantly recognisable over here – mainly because of savvy merchandising – and, thanks to Gene Simmons Family Jewels, we're starting to recognise him even with his face paint scraped off and his tongue firmly back behind his teeth.
Taking its cue from The Osbournes, the show reveals the Simmons family ploughing through an often mundane daily routine: having a car-boot sale, doing the laundry, making the dinner... We're presumably meant to delight in the fact that a family consisting of a rock legend, a former Playboy model and their two good-looking kids have to do chores just like we do – or at least they have to while the cameras are rolling.
But it's easy to delight in this programme. If you're already familiar with the antics of Ozzy Osbourne's family, you'll immediately notice the absence of hysteria, flapping, shouting, screeching and general high jinks. Aside from the introduction of "crazy" Aunt Tracy – who is clearly drafted in to bring a note of anarchy to the proceedings, setting fire to things or spraying people indiscriminately with aerosol cream – the Simmons family are all laid-back, self-assured; all the things the Osbournes are not.
In fact, it's like The Osbournes but with A-levels: they come across as astute, canny, and at times wonderfully witty. Sometimes you forget you're watching a fly-on-the-wall documentary, and start mistaking it for Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm – particularly when Gene is chatting to showbiz mates. It has the same camera work, the same dry, funny dialogue and the same wistful silences.
Nick, their 18-year-old son, is a droll character who is heard lapsing into Latin and Spanish. Their daughter, Sophie, is a remarkably well-adjusted 13-year-old who looks 21 and is coping reasonably well with the attention from the paparazzi. And Gene and his girlfriend (they've been "happily unmarried" for over 20 years) are a harmonious couple who, according to Gene, "never argue about anything".
Which might sound a tad tedious, but it's an unusually fantastic example of a reality show precisely because it doesn't feel invasive, exploitative or particularly contrived. So, while you might gawp at The Osbournes and marvel that the whole family doesn't implode, you watch Gene and keep your fingers crossed that he might invite you round for Christmas dinner.
During a round-up of out-takes and highlights of the first series broadcast on Monday, Nick was chatting to his father on the sofa, and casually morphed into the character of a female former Kiss fan so ravaged by age, drink and cigarettes that she now had a tracheostomy, and had problems remembering what went on during the 1970s. Gene sat there, manfully accepting this subtle dig at his advancing years, before – like the rest of us – succumbing to the giggles. And when did a reality show last make you laugh more than a scripted sitcom?
Gene Simmons Family Jewels continues tomorrow night at 10:00pm on the Biography Channel (Sky 156, Virgin 242).
Comments
- Posted on 07 November 2008
- at 4:02pm
- by MazY
Family Jewels is television gold. It's one of those programmes that I like to watch, believing that I am the only person in the world who has discovered how enjoyable it is.
Jean's attitude of resignation when his family take digs at him is just great to watch, and the antics of the Aunt are legendary. I came away really very surprised at just how well balanced the entire family is. Love every second of it.
- Posted on 18 October 2007
- at 9:14pm
- by themanwhofellasleep
Yes. It does sound good. Was Gene Simmons the fellow who did Rock School? He wasn't very good in that.
- Posted on 17 October 2007
- at 10:58pm
- by marysiak
Sounds good.
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