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Wrestling

Two wrestlers in the ring
  • Posted at 11:50am
  • 16 October 2007
  • by RhodriMarsden-RT
  • 3 comments

It's easy to dismiss wrestling as overwrought horseplay by men in leotards. Louis Theroux once made the mistake of doing exactly that while in the same room as some of America's top wrestlers, and he was soon begging them to stop levering off his head, and yes, they could have his dinner money, and yes, they were actually skilled athletes worthy of respect. Ouch.

There are no top wrestlers in my immediate vicinity right now, so I feel that I can speak freely. It's not that I think wrestling is stupid. I just don't understand it. It either goes way over my head, or way under it, I'm not sure which.

Sunday morning gives you the unique opportunity to flick backwards and forwards between the latest gurning musclemen from the American WWE on Sky Sports 3, and archive 1970s British wrestling from World of Sport on the TWCFight! channel. Let's do a quick compare and contrast:

Theme music: WWE seems to alternate between grinding metal guitars and enormous Wagnerian symphonies featuring 15 orchestras, choirs of angels and a gong. World of Sport has a pleasant tune played on a trombone.

Participants: WWE wrestlers go by names like Brainbasher, The Marauder, or Widespread Injury Inflicter, and are styled to either look like Roman centurions or neanderthal savages. World of Sport wrestlers have names equally suited to ocean-liner cabaret entertainment – eg Roy St Clair – and come into the ring wearing a cape with their name carefully sewn on the back by their mums.

Body hair: there's scarcely any hair to be seen in WWE. World of Sport wrestlers, however, come as nature intended. Hairy.

Announcers: WWE employs a series of men with nodules on their vocal cords to growl at ear-splitting volume over a 5,000 watt PA. World of Sport has a bald man in a suit mumbling into a malfunctioning microphone.

Wrestling style: you either pretend to be a monster or a gymnast in WWE. There's constant prancing, leaping, bounding, slamming and throwing, and it's as perfectly choreographed as an Ang Lee art house movie. In World of Sport, long periods of time are spent lying on the floor engaged in finger locks and wincing.

Referees: in WWE, they form an integral part of the theatrical action, mock-chastising the participants for flagrant breaches of wrestling etiquette that are, of course, just part of the show. In World of Sport a paunchy bloke continually tries counting to ten in a throaty, semi-Germanic accent that's even weirder than the call of "180!" at darts matches.

Commentators: WWE commentators spend much of the bout in a state of apoplexy, screaming: "Will someone please stop this carnage? For the love of humanity, will someone get in the ring? The internal injuries must be mounting by the moment! Will someone do something?" World of Sport commentators murmur, snooker style: "And John Elijah here, from Walthamstow, he's the one in the leotard, and the beard, yes, we have two methods of identifying John Elijah."

WWE crowd: predominantly male; predominantly young; roaring their heads off; waving banners. World of Sport crowd: predominantly female; predominantly old; silent with occasional giggling; knitting scarves.

There's only one way in which these shows are identical: the pure theatre. The pretence doesn't crack for a moment. If the wrestlers aren't hurt, they pretend that they are, and if they're really hurt, they pretend that they're not.

You never hear a wrestler shout, "No, seriously, Steve, that really really hurts, will you get off? Please?" And that's why, while people often talk of banning boxing, no-one would ever dream of banning wrestling, any more than they'd consider banning juggling. It's just too funny.

World of Sport is on TWCFight! (Sky 427) on Sunday mornings. WWE is on Sky Sports 3 (Sky 403, Virgin 513) extremely regularly.

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Comments

  • Posted on 17 October 2007
  • at 1:46pm
  • by scissorkicks

"Afternoon, grapple fans"

  • Posted on 16 October 2007
  • at 4:45pm
  • by CarsmileSteve

the problem with WWE is it's more about the soap opera outside the ring than the actual fighting.

i don't CARE why these two large muscley men are about to knock seven shades of beautifully choreographed stuff out of each other, i just want to see them get on with it!

  • Posted on 16 October 2007
  • at 1:27pm
  • by sheridanski

No longer watched by old ladies I fear. Not at all Easy Easy Easy. Hey, thanks America.

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