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Dave

Dave advertisement on TV screen
  • Posted at 11:03am
  • 15 October 2007
  • by RhodriMarsden-RT
  • 5 comments

I might be getting old before my time. Perhaps I'm just a miserable git. But I get weary when things that don't even have a pulse attempt to be my best mate. I walked into my bank recently and was greeted by an enormous turquoise sticker on the front door, which said "hi" in a cute, lower-case font.

I didn't need greeting. I knew that the front door was the way in. I knew that behind the door would be a row of cashiers serving a large queue of disgruntled people with sizable overdrafts. I knew that those cashiers would not let off a load of party poppers and give me a big hug.

It's not just banks. It's fruit smoothies, web browsers, toilet rolls, water coolers – it's a creeping menace. My credit card company asks, casually: "What's in your wallet?" They don't really want to know, of course, but I'm not going to treat these questions rhetorically. I'm going to ring them on their freephone hotline and state matter-of-factly: "A kidney donor card, a Wandsworth Council technical services department resident parking discount card, a receipt for a Thai takeaway and 20 quid. You did ask".

Now TV channels are doing it. Today sees the clumsy re-branding of the channel UKTVG2. True, the name UKTVG2 looks like a serial number on the underside of a vacuum cleaner, while the sister channel – UKTVG2+1 – resembles a formula from an electrical engineering textbook.

But the new name is "Dave". It's one of those ideas that someone blurted out in panic during a marketing meeting, someone else decided to "run with it", and at no point did anyone think, "Hang on, we're calling a TV channel Dave, here, we must do something about this, and quick".

The reasoning, according to the press release, is that "everyone knows a bloke called Dave". Yes, I know a bloke called Dave. Actually, I know three blokes called Dave, one called David, six Emmas and several supermarkets called Tesco. I know how to fly a kite, walk a dog, and produce insulin using my pancreas. But – at least to me – repeats of Top Gear still look like repeats of Top Gear.

Ditto repeats of A Question of Sport, or Mind, Body and Kick Ass Moves, or footage of dangerous sports, or of Ray Mears chomping on insects, or endless hours of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps. Just because I'm a bloke doesn't mean I'll be any more eager to watch someone's contrived and slightly patronising idea of TV for blokes, purely because the channel has the same name as my dad.

They've been running trailers all weekend. Dave is the home of witty banter. Dave is, they say, "full of complete and utter wits" (which is presumably an example of the kind of witty banter they're talking about), before a group of blokes shout "Dave!" as if they're laying down the backing vocals to a Sham 69 B-side. This advertising campaign, apparently, "juxtaposes traditional weekend retreat imagery with contemporary talent from the channel's key content in a humorous and irreverent way to represent the channel's key brand values". However you want to justify it, Dave.

Anyway, I suppose I am two years outside the target demographic. Maybe UKTV have a similar plan lined up for me – maybe Channel Jeremy, or Benjamin TV, or PonceyVision. Looking forward to it.

You can find Dave on Sky 111, Virgin 125, and Freeview 19.

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Comments

  • Posted on 15 October 2007
  • at 2:07pm
  • by Linzk425

It's a channel? Furrfu, I thought it was the name of some strange new comedy programme!

  • Posted on 15 October 2007
  • at 12:51pm
  • by RhodriMarsden-RT

James: sadly Nuts TV is only on Freeview, and I don't have a Freeview box. It's clearly of such inferior quality that Sky refuse to carry it, which is saying something. Or maybe Nuts TV is worth shelling out for Freeview, too? Surely nut. Not.

Steve: There are boring bits in Newsnight??? Anyway, QI & Big Train are magnificent, but sadly make up a small percentage of Dave's output.

  • Posted on 15 October 2007
  • at 12:09pm
  • by robsoft

Have you ever met anyone who was 'gruntled'?

In a similar-but-not-quite-the-same vein, 'whelmed'.

I don't see anything wrong with calling a channel 'Dave', but then this is someone who calls his software 'Rachel' and who longs to have a dog that he can call 'Sit'.

  • Posted on 15 October 2007
  • at 12:07pm
  • by CarsmileSteve

aw, i quite like UKTVG2+1, they have QI on when it gets to the boring bits in newsnight, and also occasionally show Big Train...

  • Posted on 15 October 2007
  • at 11:57am
  • by jamesmichaelward

I don't know anyone called Dave. I know several Davids, but they're Davids not Daves. I do sometimes call them Dave just to annoy them, does this count? And if so, am I required to call the channel Dave, David?

Anyway Rhodri, hurry up and review Nuts TV, it's extraordinary. Big Cook, Little Cook are on it, but Little Cook is normal size, in fact, he's bigger than Big Cook.

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