BLOGS
Silent Witness
- Posted at 10:59am
- 13 September 2007
- by AlisonGraham-RT
- 7 comments

It’s always easy to spot murderers in Silent Witness. So easy, in fact, that they might just as well wear T-shirts with the words “I Am the Murderer” picked out in sequins. But even an explanatory colouring book, a set of flash cards and a trail of bright red glitter leading to the culprit wouldn’t be enough for Dr Nikki Alexander, Silent Witness’s daft forensic pathologist.
You see, Dr Nikki (Emilia Fox) has a problem. She’s obviously a highly trained professional, but she is also an idiot. Think about it. A murderer is on the loose and you could be in jeopardy. So what would you do, ladies and gentlemen? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t arrange a meeting with a key witness in the darkened basement of a disused hospital without telling anyone where you’re going or even taking a torch. Would you?
No, of course not. Because there’s a pretty good chance someone would emerge from the darkness when your back is turned to club you over the head and knock you unconscious. Like they did to Dr Nikki recently.
Neither would you unwittingly end up in the murderer’s house, unlike Dr Nikki in a forthcoming episode, because you are so incapable of spotting The Silent Witness Murderer he or she might as well live in a house called Chez Killer at Killer’s Corner, crochet the word “Death” into their sofa cushions and make you a milky drink in a mug bearing the legend “I Did It”.
Perhaps if Dr Nikki stuck to her job, we wouldn’t get this Penelope Pitstop, girl-in-peril routine every week. She’s a pathologist, she should stay in the lab. But Dr Nikki interviews suspects, makes (illegal) searches, confronts witnesses and shows up the police as gullible fools. Such multitasking must save the Home Office a fortune.
Why every senior detective in the land hasn’t insisted she’s chained to a radiator for the duration of their investigations is a mystery. But this is Silent Witness, where police officers are routinely corner-cutting, boorish halfwits who have to be told their jobs by Dr Nikki, who looks at them like a sad mouse would look at a plate where a piece of wensleydale has once been.
This is one of Dr Nikki’s best expressions. My other favourite is the look she wears the moment she realises she’s in danger. Imagine throwing a 50 pence piece down a well. Imagine the wait during the long drop and then – plop! There it is! That look that says “I’m about to die because I’ve been a very silly girl”. Actually, maybe she should wear the sequined T-shirt. Only her logo should be “Don’t Hit Me – I’m Only the Forensic Pathologist”.
**
Alison Graham is TV editor of Radio Times.
Comments
- Posted on 08 June 2009
- at 10:09am
- by John
As an Aussie I am appalled at the pathetic attempt at Australian accents in the Silent Witness episode this Friday 12 June. Including a South African accent in there and pretending it's Aussie doesn't match the otherwise high quality of the show. Pathetic. Consider how you feel when an Aussie show does a pathetic scouser, geordie or cockney accent.
- Posted on 05 November 2008
- at 11:03am
- by Steve
In the recent Mills and Boon drama, "Dr. Nikki" seducing one of her young students was one of the most erotic scenes on T.V. for a long time. Maybe there should be more of this type of activity for her in Silent Witness, she's obviously very good at it.
- Posted on 09 October 2008
- at 3:40pm
- by Bigears
I wonder if Emilia Fox was not such a pretty woman Alison Graham would make such stupid sexist observations! If she must she should pick on the male "lead" - the dreadful boss who seems stuck in his post family death depression to the point where his is always a wooden performance. Maybe that's because the writers can't think of story lines to use him in - just the in background ones. Remember the writers don't choose the actors but will write for the ones that interest them. And Emilia and co. don't choose the writers or the details of their individual story lines. Look out for the writer's names Alison and learn a bit about how the quality of the show dips and rises accordingly and let's have less of the rubbishing for entertainment's sake. Save that for the RT Column. As the other comments show we can all do that home thank you!
- Posted on 02 October 2007
- at 10:03pm
- by Badger
You leave her alone, when I die she's the one I want cutting me up!
- Posted on 21 September 2007
- at 11:14am
- by preisch
In Episode Double Dare (17 Sep 2007) How could Nikki Alexander have given evidence in Anna Holland's case? 4 years ago she was a paleontologist analysing bones. And how does a paleontologist get to be a forensic examiner anyway? The backstory is full of holes.....
- Posted on 20 September 2007
- at 12:11pm
- by Finnicator
- Posted on 13 September 2007
- at 12:29pm
- by Ionaclio
Any medical drama is taboo in our house as he who is medically trained spoils every programme by guessing what the diagnosis will be or which tests they should be doing. I finally "persuaded" him to watch Silent Witness. Ruining the plot for me, he yells out, "ridiculous, how stupid , refer to the GMC or put a hat on, your DNA will be on the corpse, you silly woman!" With spot on accuracy he had guessed who the perpretator of the crime had been and called out "bang" 2 seconds before the final corpse splattered the walls. I give up. It's back to the crochet cushion covers for me on a Monday and Tuesday evening....
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