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How It's Made

A man makes modelling dough
  • Posted at 1:55pm
  • 04 September 2007
  • by RhodriMarsden-RT
  • 3 comments

I've never really wondered how pizzas end up in the freezer of my local convenience store. All I care about is that a) they'll get hotter when they're shoved in the oven, and b) I can kid myself that I'm preparing a healthy Italian meal rather than some waistband-straining carnival of cheese. But despite my disinterest in their manufacture, the Discovery Channel is going to tell me anyway.

How It's Made is a French-Canadian show, dubbed into various languages for local re-broadcast. In the UK we get the dulcet tones of Tony Hirst. He's better known as Hollyoaks's Mike Barnes, who is currently suffering the after-effects of being smashed on the head with a brick wielded by his daughter's boyfriend - but you have to try and put this out of your mind, otherwise it's impossible to take Tony's voiceover seriously.

Anyway, there's a new series currently being aired and, to celebrate this, on Saturday (1 September) Discovery Science ran a gruelling 15-hour manufacturing marathon. The highlight was seeing which bizarre combination of four products they chose to feature on each show.

First, semolina is hydrated in a massive food processor, and then broken into bits in a viciously rotating drum. Then it's sifted, and steam-cooked under volcanic-style heat.

First, semolina is hydrated in a massive food processor, and then broken into bits in a viciously rotating drum. Then it's sifted, and steam-cooked under volcanic-style heat.

It's then passed through giant revolving blades, shoved in a rotating dryer, swept up a conveyor belt to a refrigeration chamber, and finally deposited into a sorting machine to grade the lumps into "medium" or "small". The film of this procedure was underpinned by a relentless electronic soundtrack, which made you feel like you had accompanied the couscous on every inch of its traumatic journey.

"These days," said Tony, "even north Africans buy their couscous ready-made." I don't blame them, Tone. I wouldn't make my own couscous any more than I'd have a stab at constructing my own mobile phone network.

Strangely enough, while the couscous process had me furrowing my brow, the section on modelling dough had me salivating. Clearly, the manufacturers have sussed that kids immediately shove all their toys straight into their mouths out of frustrated boredom, so today's Plasticine equivalents are just like fantastic cakes, made of edible ingredients in a range of tempting flavours.

Bubble gum, orange, raisin bread and strawberry jam... By the time they were making the cherry dough - pictured above - I couldn't stand the provocation any longer. Telly off, time for tea. Oh...frozen pizza.

How It's Made is on weekdays at 7:00pm on the Discovery Channel (Sky 520, Virgin 212, Freeview 27).

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Comments

  • Posted on 07 September 2007
  • at 5:39am
  • by abdoujaparov

I'm calling my next band "Carnival of Cheese".

  • Posted on 04 September 2007
  • at 8:13pm
  • by clearwood

You've made the "disinterest" error, hardly Reithian, eh?

  • Posted on 04 September 2007
  • at 4:42pm
  • by SBarnett

Rhodri Marsden is a delight. His couscous comment made me hoot with laughter.

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