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Why I Love…Diagnosis Murder

Dick Van Dyke and Barry Van Dyke in Diagnosis Murder
  • Posted at 11:16am
  • 17 August 2007
  • by RuthMargolis-RT
  • 8 comments

If you're not yet acquainted with this daytime TV jewel, then let me do the honours. Diagnosis Murder is an absurdly cheerful American daytime crime drama starring Dick Van Dyke as Dr Mark Sloan. He's an avuncular physician slash sleuth with a silky white side-parting you could ski down.

Van Dyke stars alongside his real-life son Barry who, conveniently, plays his cop son, Steve Sloan. In each episode the Sloans happen upon a death. Could this be foul play, they ask? It always is. It's a neat, if nepotistic, set-up.

Diagnosis Murder became a BBC1 daytime staple in the late 90s and never left. Even though it was cancelled in the US back in 2001, it's repeated constantly and has a solid fan base of students, housewives, the elderly and infirm.

It's as light, fluffy and throwaway as a daily dose of death can be. The post-DM cup of tea can be supped in the sound knowledge that Steve Sloan led the nasty murderer away to justice. And as it's set in California we're more than likely talking about capital punishment. Even with death penalty undertones, not to mention a constant stream of corpses, it's all so darn jolly. And for a show about murder, there's a conspicuous lack of blood.

Perhaps the meeting where CBS pinned down the format went something like this…

The scene: it's 1992 and a dozen executives sit around a mahogany table ruffling script pages and grazing on no-fat baked goods. A producer addresses his colleagues: "So, murder. How do people feel about that?"

"I get murder, murder's cool," says someone.

"I dig the killing," says his neighbour. "But it's a daytime show. The housewives, they don't like a bloodbath before lunch."

"How about we lighten it up some?" says another, "First - nix the blood. Who needs it when there are so many tidy ways to kill? My personal favourite: strangulation!"

"Wienerman, baby, that's it! So, anyway, we've got Van D for the doctor lead and he's keen for the role to be, well, 'nice'. He wants minimal corpse contact."

"Right, so how's about, when people die, that's it? Just a quick pulse check and pronounce them." "I can live with that."

"Oh, and he'd like his son to be in it."

"The son? Not Barry…"

"Uh, yes, Barry. Have you seen his work? She-Wolf of London? Airwolf, the remake? The guy's a god. Is the cop-son part cast?"

"Yeah, I have Hasselhoff lined up for that." "Hoff schmoff, let's make this project Family Van Dyke! Someone pass the biscotti."

So, anyway, why is Diagnosis Murder so much better than those other you-have-to-dangle-your-disbelief-off-Blackpool-Tower daytime detective dramas, like Murder, She Wrote? Show me an episode where Angela Lansbury investigates a crime on rollerblades and we'll talk. Indeed, you'll often find Dr Sloan on his beloved blades. He zips about the hospital on his nifty foot furniture, stethoscope swinging in the disinfected breeze.

My diagnosis? Genius.

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Comments

  • Posted on 23 October 2008
  • at 10:32pm
  • by bernie

i think diagnosis murder is ace i have watched nearly every episode .i think barry van dyke is georgeous and would love to meet him

  • Posted on 16 June 2008
  • at 1:07pm
  • by Adam

It good to see some Dick van Dyke on tv. My lunch break has never been the same since I happened across DM after rigging the CCTV moniter with a television aerial…

  • Posted on 16 June 2008
  • at 12:17pm
  • by aaron

Since i first happened upon Diagnosis Murder as a layabout student of about 15 i was instantly captured by its easy-going charm and happy-go-lucky approach to murder.

Now as a layabout student of 18 i havnt lost an ounce of respect for the royalty of daytime television that is Diagnosis Murder. Steve Sloan's moustache... what more do i have to say?

  • Posted on 23 April 2008
  • at 12:57pm
  • by KIKKI79

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT DIAGNOSIS MURDER MY DAD THINKS ME AND MY MUM ARE STRANGE! I CAN SIT AND WATCH IT ALL DAY ,EVEN MY CHILDREN WATCH IT! THEY LOVE DOCTOR MARK.

  • Posted on 21 January 2008
  • at 2:31pm
  • by Mel2810
What can I say? I love my daily dose of and always trawl the channels on cable when the BBC take it off in the afternoons. Dick Van Dyke is the ideal doctor - one we'd all love to have - but more than that - there's humour in every episode. Where else can you find the main character doing his rounds on an electric scooter?
  • Posted on 01 December 2007
  • at 12:24am
  • by meeccles

I was afraid it might be just me who watches the repeats of this daft programme - glad to find it isn't.....

There is something endearing about the set-up, irritating though it is - I constantly find myself saying (and I have to confess I say these things aloud. To myself...) "how come Jack can just take off like that, what about his patients?" or, "why does the good Dr Sloan always fill in the suspects with the story so far and his theories about whodunnit?" And, "how can these three medics in a busy hospital spend so much time on police work and solving crimes?" It's all totally illogical, but I kinda like it.

It's like moving wallpaper, but none the worse for that. It's cosy & predictable and the cast is just right - I think little Jesse has the edge over Jack in the later ones, I think Steve's a hunk and Amanda is gorgeous - even dear old Norman has his moments, and of course there's Dick van Dyke!

I remember sitting down to watch an episode of DM on the afternoon of 9/11, and couldn't believe what I was in fact seeing......

  • Posted on 18 November 2007
  • at 2:25pm
  • by poppy7

I have often asked myself this very question and have concluded thatit's all to do with Dick Van Dyke. He's so good in the part that you want him as your doctor! Well, I do... What's even worse - I watch repeats too, something I usually do not do. Face it - I'm hooked.

  • Posted on 20 August 2007
  • at 10:00pm
  • by MazY

Firstly: Good to have commenting back. I've missed it more than is healthy, I'm sure. Now, Diagnosis Murder...

It's what I like to call "Disposable Television". It's always naff, all too often predictable, at times infuriatingly illogical, and yet it's thoroughly enjoyable, perhaps because of all these things.

You don't have to try with Diagnosis Murder. Just sit back, accept the flaws, and know that at the end of the show you will have received value for money, entertainment, and an insight into just how effortlessly good television can be; sometimes when it's not even trying.

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