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Why I Love...It's Me or the Dog

Victoria Stilwell with a dalmatian
  • Posted at 5:16am
  • 15 March 2007
  • by RuthMargolis-RT
  • 1 comment

I'd rather brush my teeth with a dog than own one. Your pooch could have been to Swiss finishing school and be able to administer its own breath mints, but still it wouldn't be welcome in my home. Sorry, dog people, but I'm not a fan. So how did I come to adore a programme about exasperated owners trying to reform their miscreant mutts?

It's like this: It's Me or the Dog is not for dog lovers. Oh, no. Just as You Are What You Eat is ignored by the fat and cherished by smug skinnies, the attraction between us dog haters and a show about the rehabilitation of wayward British canines is fierce.

It comes down to this: we may not be able to empathise with these people and their deviant dogs, but we can and do enjoy their pain.

I watch amazed and nauseated; why would sensible human beings let their pets dictate their lives? We may be a nation of dog devotees but it takes one almighty leap of love - and stupidity - to allow one to poo on your shag-pile.

Fascination keeps me watching, but I also love that conceited warm glow that comes with witnessing another person suffer because of their own foolishness.

And, as someone who doesn't own a dog and has no intention of dipping my hand in the drool pool, I'm buoyed by the following: I will never have my relationship - specifically, the lying-down parts - interfered with by a horny, jealous hound. My soft furnishings will forever remain free of dog hair, saliva and oily secretions. And I won't have to endure turbo-strength thigh molestation every time I open the front door.

Victoria Stilwell, It's Me or the Dog's formidable doggy expert, is the lady in charge of implementing and overseeing changes to dog and owner. The former actress set up a dog-walking business in the 90s and learned everything there is to know about getting a dog to behave and stay in shape.

She's great. When Victoria's around, no-one - hound or human - dares to misbehave. The perfectly coiffed bun, severe fringe and the dog-minatrix tight black outfits accented by red lips and accessories make her a fearsome and foxy reformer.

For Victoria the dogs are easy money - a little chicken here, a stroke on the nose there and most pooches will sit on command and keep their snouts out of sock drawers for life. It's the owners who take real work; convincing them that their dogs need leadership and strict rules to keep them out of mischief is like trying to persuade a nun she'd feel more liberated in edible underwear.

But watching the not-very-bright go about their business and then be gurued into shape has become a treasured national pastime, like cricket and binge drinking. With It's Me or the Dog we're treated to a feast of foolishness and reformation, courtesy of more than one species. Take a big scratch under the chin, Channel 4, for bringing us yet another ode to idiocy.

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  • Posted on 08 September 2009
  • at 12:19am
  • by Carol

I have seen many people with dogs that snapped at you and the owner thinks its cute or that is the way the dog is. I had my dog for 17 years and there is no way I could have a dog that would snap, be unfriendly, not sociable and a risk to take anywhere. I made some mistakes with Lady, its because I didn't follow through.

She was a wonderful dog both at home and away. I always had such wonderful compliments. She died last November and I am now studying to be a dog trainer.

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